To Embrace
by Kiko-Butt
Summary: She was too stubborn to embrace death, that was how Thea Queen found herself staring at her 16 year old reflection. Hopefully her stubbornness would come in handy once her brother returned to Star City, or Starling City. That name change was hard enough to get used to once now she had to do all over again.
1. Chapter 1: Lucky

To Embrace

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Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.

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Chapter 1: Lucky

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Thea Queen stared at the reflection of her naked body in curious wonder. This examination wasn't for vanity or some self-exploration. Her fingers traced memories on her own flesh. Marks of events both painful and those remembered with fondness were missing from pale skin.

The thin line that bisected her left elbow, a memento to commemorate Oliver's failure to teach her how to rollerblade when she was seven was still there. But a jagged scar which once claimed the space on the forearm of the same limb, a gift from training with Nyssa was now missing. Her digits passed over the smooth void with near longing. It was a painful lesson, but one that ended up saving her life several times.

Part of her wished she still had the mark. It was just another of many physical reminders of the path she walked to get to this point, a path she erased.

The brunette's hazel eyes walked up and down her body accompanying her fingers on their journey of cataloguing changes and seeking out other absences. When touch and sight finally fell upon her own face she stepped closer to her mirror image. It was a truly singular experience to look at yourself in the mirror and not recognize the person staring back and not in some psychobabble way. The person she saw in the mirror now only appeared in those godawful flashback posts on Facebook. Thea Queen was no longer Thea Queen.

Sort of.

Fingers tugged on the long bouncy curls that graced her bare shoulders. It was odd to have long hair again. She cut her hair short when she left Starling City for the first time. It kept getting shorter as the years progressed and the losses piled up, losses that pressed lines into her face prematurely.

Those lines were gone and in their place the full cheeks of youth. Every physical representation of her past was gone. Now she needed to focus on not letting it happen again. Her attention moved from her own body to the external representation of her self. Damn. Even at sixteen she had fabulous fashion sense and a wardrobe to die for.

A lesson learned early on in life from her mother, clothes, makeup and a good blow out were armor to be worn at all times. After her father and brother were tragically lost at sea Moira temporarily took control of Queen Consolidated and grieving was put to the side. The paparazzi getting a shot of the Queen matriarch or the princess breaking down would apparently be devastating for QC stock.

So instead, the tabloids would only get shots of her perfectly coifed mother handing over the reigns of the family company to the man who would lead it to record shattering growth and that man would eventually become her step-father. Even Thea's image was perfectly crafted to fit what was expected from the now only child of the Queen family.

Until she hit fourteen and figured out rebellion was much, much more fun.

When the media got wind that Thea was following in the wild child footsteps of many rich privileged teens before her it was a feeding frenzy that her mother's PR people worked overtime to squash. They truly earned their salary as keeping the newly awakened party girl out of trouble was more than a full time job.

It wasn't like she had any reason to act out and go a little crazy. After all she was a spoiled princess who was driven to an Ivy League prep school in a Bentley every day. A girl who wore $40,000 in jewelry to a high school dance. She had the world at her finger tips and surely could want for nothing.

Except of course her dead father and brother. But people tended to forget about that. Even her own mother forgot she wasn't the only one who lost something. Moira Queen lost a husband and a son, but at least she found a replacement for the former.

The lips of Thea's reflection turned downward in a grimace. All this time and she still harbored such anger for her mother. It was hard to be angry at the dead, or at least admit you were. But now her mother wasn't dead. She was somewhere in this house that Thea never thought she would step foot in again.

The not sixteen year old dressed in casual summer clothes. Her phone told her it was Sunday, June 21st, 2011 and not even nine o'clock yet. Her mother and Walter were no doubt downstairs in the brunch room catching each other up on events, gossip and QC business.

It was time to go down and join them but she remained in her room, not quite sure this was all real. Collapsing into her vanity chair she stared at her reflection again. Her face should have been proof enough that everything she had worked, struggled and hoped for for the last two months had come true.

This was no dream. This was real.

Oliver was alive. She had no idea where he was, perhaps back on Lian Yu perhaps not, but most importantly he was alive. Her hands, which were once covered in her brother's life blood as she held his dying body shook with the knowledge. Oliver lived.

Tears burned her eyes and she sucked in a deep breath through her nose to stem the tide. Now was not the time to lose control. Picking up her eyeliner she willed her hand to be steady. Makeup was armor. A put together appearance was just what she needed. She could never cry knowing it would absolutely destroy a good paint job.

Once the eyeliner and mascara were perfectly applied she reached out for her lip stash. The bag was crammed full and she upended the whole thing rather than dig around for an hour. Her eyes landed on a bright pink Dior that added just the right pop of color to her messy up do and low key look.

Finishing, she took in her unfamiliar face in the mirror once more. A teenager looked back, a girl who had not witnessed her whole world burn to the ground around her. She had what most people dreamed of their entire lives, a second chance. She knew what Oliver would say if he were here, not the Oliver that was probably running around some Chinese island at the moment, but her Oliver. He would tell her she should take this opportunity to start fresh, to let go of the past, yadda yadda yadda, kumba-fucking-ya. Even after finding his own so-called balance he was still a hypocrite.

Her body may no longer show proof of the life she had led up to this point but she could not forget. Her past was a part of her and she wouldn't be letting it go any time soon.

But she needed to move forward. She was steps away from her mother who was murdered in front of her eyes. The only man she ever loved was somewhere in this city, probably lifting a wallet. Her unknowing half brother could be slipping out of some girl's apartment very much not dead from a man made earth quake.

With the exception of her father, Robert Queen every person she ever loved or cared for in her life was currently alive. Thea was the perfect definition of the color that coater her lips. She was Lucky.

Using her thumb she made one more swipe at the edge of her bottom lip to ensure that the line was perfect. She stood and with her armor in place strode to the door of her childhood bedroom. Opening it and stepping out she made her way down the familiar hallways.

Her hand dragged down the banister partly in remembrance and partly in dread. Doubt began to cloud her mind. Perhaps this was some strange fever dream, or perhaps she was in fact dead and this was one messed up after life.

Her heart hammered as her ears caught familiar voices drifting from exactly where they should be. Swallowing tightly she took hallway to the brunch room's entryway and stopped short of the corner. It was time to embrace whatever awaited her. Drawing on her hard earned strength she stepped around the corner and into the room.

The conversation stopped and Thea's breath caught in her chest at the sight of her mom, sitting in sunlight and looking just as she remembered. For a second the world seemed to stop. "Well," her mother said, raising an eyebrow in what Thea didn't register as her patented look of disapproval. "Look who actually dragged herself out of bed before one. I didn't think we would be seeing you given the state you came back home in last night. I truly hope that you have more plans for this summer than-"

Whatever else her mother said after that was lost as Thea began to giggle hysterically at the situation. Turns out the roaring headache she woke up with that morning wasn't from magically sending her consciousness back to 2011, but instead was just a symptom of a simple hangover. And of course the first words her mom said to her were scolding. For the first time in too many years Thea Queen felt lucky.

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A/N: I am rewriting this story because I feel like I can do better. I want to tighten the plot and cement the time line more. I also want to take this story in a different direction than I originally thought and I need to lay that groundwork in the earlier chapters. I'm sorry if I went about this the wrong way. There will be chapters that I use from my original post but they will be altered at least in part and there will also be completely new chapters. The next chapter will be posted tomorrow.

A big thank you to those of you who have reviewed. I hope this doesn't frustrate you too much and you let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2: Unzipped

To Embrace

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Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.

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Chapter 2: Unzipped

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The secretary glared through thick rimmed glasses and Thea couldn't resist but send the stern woman another winning smile as she continued to tap her perfectly manicured nails on the magazine table next to her. She really loved winding this judgmental, bitch up. The brunette tried to play nice in the beginning but as a semi-frequent visitor to this office she felt she had more than enough experience with Mrs. Oiler's unfriendly borderline rudeness to act in kind.

It was the start of her junior year and her first visit to Mr. Stanbarry's office was three months or so prior. To her mother's immense surprise Thea had more planned for her summer than parties and trips Coast City. The day after her miraculous awakening she made an appointment with her guidance councilor and set about getting herself into summer school classes. Now that was something she never thought she would do.

Her enemy coughed pointedly and furiously slammed down another sheet of paper in the outbox on her desk. Thea's nude lips pulled wider as the woman's face reddened. She never had any run in's with Mrs. Oiler when she was actually a teenager, which was most likely a good thing. If she had, Thea wouldn't have been surprised if she found herself expelled.

The door to Mr. Stanbarry's office opened and the short, paunchy man greeted her enthusiastically. "Ah, Ms. Queen good to see you, please come in, come in." Thea stood gracefully and ignored the only other person in the waiting room as she made her way into the office.

"Now," Mr. Stanbarry said as he closed the door and came to sit behind his desk. "What can we do for you today? Can't be in too much trouble, it's only the first day!" he joked.

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes she managed a humoring laugh instead. "No, no. I thought that given the amount of credits I picked up this summer we could discuss how I could change my schedule for this semester and plan next semester's in order to graduate at the end of this year."

The balding man blinked in surprise. "Graduate?!"

"Yes, graduate," she repeated, feeling her jaw muscles tighten at the incredulous tone in the guidance counselor's voice.

"Oh, well, Ms. Queen given your academic history and current credits I'm not sure…" he trailed off as he clicked his mouse no doubt looking through her school files. "You would need to take on an incredibly heavy course load to make up for some, ah, classes you didn't excel in." He seemed to struggle to put her failures as polite as possible.

"Mr. Stanbarry," she called his attention back to her. "I know I have done poorly in the past. But surely the classes I took over the summer should make up for any of those that I have failed and then a few more."

The man nodded along with her words. "Yes, yes you have given yourself a bit of a head start coming into this year but the amount of courses you will need to take…" He scrolled through the screen he was looking at and made a few noises in the back of his throat. "I'll admit, it wouldn't be impossible, but it appears you have put off your physical education credits. You need at least one and a half to graduate." He muttered to himself for a bit. "You will need to take on a full schedule this semester plus one independent study on your own time."

"I can do that," she assured quickly, tasting victory was at hand.

"Your options for a physical education class are limited given you need to take two science courses with labs this semester. The hour you'll have available only has the freshman course you've already taken and advanced archery offered. You might be able to work out some sort of independent course."

A perfectly shaped eyebrow raised at that. Snorting indelicately she shook her head. Fate was laughing at her…or fucking with her. More likely it was the second. "I'll take advanced archery."

Mr. Stanbarry made another noise of concern and Thea felt the need to fiddle with something sharp. "Well, you see the course is for those who have taken the two prerequisites and given the safety concerns and liability-"

"I can assure you sir, I am experienced with a bow. Perhaps, I may attend today's class and show the instructor that I am more than capable?" Her tone was even and confident and was clear in the fact she wouldn't take no for an answer. She wasn't above using her name if she had to.

For what seemed to be the first time since she sat down, the man across from her looked her in the eye. "I can see you are very determined." He folded his hands in front of him and leaned in. "Ms. Queen your instructors over the summer had nothing but glowing words for your performance in their classes. As gratifying it is to see you so devoted to your studies I can't help but wonder why you've taken such a turn."

Irritation rose in Thea at the questioning of her motives. She swallowed it down and forced herself to be calm. Mr. Stanbarry wasn't the first person to notice her abrupt change in priorities but he was the first to question her about it. "I know this," she waved a hand, "graduating early, taking school seriously doesn't exactly match up with my reputation, but I will do this."

His face told her nothing of his thoughts. "I have no doubt that you will. But, I, well, I am concerned about why you are taking this on. With the work you did this summer you have put yourself back on track. You could have have two light years, perhaps take on some extra curriculars or look into college courses." Seeing her frustration at this continued line of questioning he added, "I'm simply concerned you are setting yourself up for a very stressful year."

Thea could see he was genuine and despite herself, she was surprised. She never made any meaningful connections with any of the teachers or school staff before, but Mr. Stanbarry clearly cared and felt comfortable enough to speak his mind, instead of yielding to whatever demands she had. Given that her last name was on an entire wing of the school it showed more guts than her initial impression said he was capable of possessing.

"Ah, being perfectly frank Ms. Queen what you have done this summer is nothing short of miraculous," he said, voice quavering at first. "I would hate to see you falter on this new path if you begin to struggle because you take on more than is advisable."

The brunette gave him a small, but true smile, the first she had ever shown him. "I appreciate the concern Mr. Stanbarry, I really do. But, you don't need to worry about me. I can handle the classes."

Though he didn't appear reassured he nodded anyway. "Well, our time is almost up. I'll print you off a copy of your new schedule, Mrs Oiler will have it. You won't be on the roster for any of them till tomorrow so I'll give you a note. It looks like Ms. Michaels is the archery instructor," he told her, looking back at his computer. "I'll send her an email as well. If she doesn't give her permission however, we will, ah, have to find another way."

Thea nodded. She was certain she would get her way. The bell for the next period rang and the junior stood, smoothing her skirt. "Thank you for helping me with this Mr. Stanbarry." The man nodded and excused her from the room. She picked up her new schedule sharing a last glare with the secretary from hell and checked to see where she was headed.

The day dragged. She was happy to see that she had two teachers she took classes from in the summer who weren't surprised by her appearance. During the second to last period she hurried from chemistry to the athletics building. She changed quickly into the sports uniform she had in her bag, ignoring the gaggle of freshman girls who were giggling in the locker room and made her way to the archery range. It was a part of the school she never stepped foot in before.

There was no one there so she went about setting up a target that wouldn't be a challenge for her, but would surely impress. Once finished she went to the bow rack. She read in the description of this class that the students who took the course were more than welcome to bring their own personal bows but school bows would be available. She decided there wasn't really a need to bring in her own as it would draw more attention.

"Ms. Queen?" A voice called stopping her from reaching for a standard recurve with no bells and whistles.

Thea turned to see a petite middle aged woman with an iron grey pony tale and stern face. "Ms. Michaels," she guessed.

The woman walked forward. "I got Mr. Stanbarry's email and I appreciate the position you are in. But, if I don't give the go ahead for you to be in this class that will be the end of it. The students who take this class usually go on to be part of the archery team. My time is taken up correcting technique and I rely on students to manage themselves."

The brunette could hear no judgment in the woman's tone and found that her words were fair. After all, she knew better than most how deadly a bow and arrow could be. "May I?" she asked waving a hand at the bows. She already had on one of the schools mediocre arm guards. The teacher gave her silent permission and Thea chose her bow and grabbed a stand full of arrows.

The female archer drew the bow back dry a few times to warm up her muscles and get a feel for the weight. She began the slow process of getting her fighting body back over the summer, but this was the first time she touched a bow since awakening. It was like slipping into a warm pool of water. This body never laid hands on her brother's favorite weapon, but it seemed to remember. Her breath synchronized with her arm and body, creating the beautiful quiet that settled her mind without fail. This was home.

She took her stance in front of the target. Absently she noted footsteps and Ms. Michaels began to speak before quieting, whatever she wanted to say taken back as Thea reached for an arrow. The string hummed as she fired repeatedly. She didn't fire as quickly as she could have. She didn't want to break any school records, but wanted to prove she would not be a liability in this class. By the time she shot all her arrows her arm muscles were fatiguing. She withheld her grimace. The draw wasn't even thirty-five pounds.

Some of the other students entered the range and were watching with interest. She noted some familiar faces but none of them were friends or even acquaintances. Ms. Michaels came closer and looked down the range to her target. Her face was emotionless but she nodded in approval. "You can stay for today. Collect your arrows, we won't be shooting until the latter half of the class."

Thea zoned out through the syllabus and safety lecture. Instead she chose to study her nails. The shooting chipped the blackened green color Unzipped. It was a favorite at the moment and reminded her of Green Arrow's outfit. Her mind jumped to her old suit. Perhaps a change in color was in order. Roy said red suited her before but she didn't care for the color as much anymore.

After the lecture Ms. Michaels did some technique demonstration before sending them off to practice. There were enough lanes and the class size was small enough that no one had to share. The not sixteen year old went through the shooting on auto pilot, but made sure not to show too much of her skill, focusing on quantity rather than accuracy. Her arm burned by the time the first bell rang. She hung back doing more than her fair share of the clean up. There were only three other girls in class and she didn't feel like socializing with them in the locker room.

"Ms. Queen," the teacher called. Thea walked over, confident that she more than proved herself capable. "This class obviously won't be a problem for you. In fact I think we both know you are beyond what I can teach you. Would you consider joining the archery team?"

Thea's ponytail swung. "No, I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested in competition." Skills like hers would be noted and she didn't want such a record once bow wielding vigilante's began to pop up around the city.

The shorter woman seemed disappointed but then came up with an offer Thea couldn't refuse. "You're missing a few P.E. credits correct? Well, how about you help out at practice and I could get you a quarter of a credit both semesters, you'll only have to take one P.E. class next semester." Surprised at the offer, Thea debated it for a moment and decided helping out shouldn't call too much attention to herself. Ms. Michaels told her when she would be expected and the brunette headed back to the locker rooms.

The last period of the day, calculus with Mr. Ackers, who Thea took another math class over the summer with flew by and the final bell rang signaling the end of the first day of what would hopefully be her final final year of high school.

Caught up in the mass of bodies flooding out the main doors Thea let herself be pushed along by the crowd. She caught sight of her driver in the pick up area before an arm was thrown across her shoulders. The not sixteen year old bit down hard at the instinct to remove said arm from her shoulders violently and looked up to see Bobby Miller.

"Haven't seen you for a while Queen," the floppy blonde haired teen said with what Thea once thought was a rather adorable smile. "We missed you over the summer."

"I've been busy," she returned shrugging off his arm and continuing on her path. She could see her driver, Park, an ex-marine eye the boy trying to get her attention.

"Wow Margo said you were blowing everyone off but-"

"You thought you'd be special?" she cut in not breaking her stride to look back at him.

"Bitch!" floated after her but the brunette just shook her head. She didn't have time to waste on people she once considered friends. Oliver was right the first time around when he said she hung with the wrong crowd. None of her so-called friends were around when things started to go bad for the Queen family.

She greeted Park, before getting into the car. "Home please," she requested as she settled in for the ride.

"Good first day?" Park asked, not taking his dark eyes off the road. The stocky man was her driver during the summer and unlike most of his fellows he preferred light conversation to silence while they were in the car together.

"As first days go it was more productive than most," she answered. "Any interesting gossip amongst the hens?" she teased. The drivers who almost always doubled as bodyguards, loved to chit chat like old women as they waited for the children of Starling City's elite.

She could see his lips twist up in the rearview mirror at her jab. "Nothing to write home about today," he answered. "That boy giving you trouble?"

Her hazel eyes rolled, "Not any I can't handle. I'm afraid I hurt his poor little teenage boy pride."

Park chuckled. "That's too bad, they're a sensitive breed, you should be more careful."

"I'll try to remember that next time," she promised with a rueful smile. "I am doing some stuff after school starting next week. I should be done around 5:30 every day."

The ex-marine nodded as they stopped at a red light. "Nice, that's when all the guys who have kids in sports turn up. I can get some inside information, maybe make a buck betting on high schoolers."

Thea laughed and shook her head. "I'm glad it will work out for the both of us. You don't mind getting home a bit later, or more importantly your wife won't mind?"

"Nope, her residency is in full swing and she's barely home as it is."

The drive continued as they both commiserated on busy schedules that didn't allow them to see their loved ones as often as they would like. When they arrived at Queen manor Park dropped her off at the front door and said goodbye for the day as his last duty was getting her home.

Once in the manor Thea made a B line for the kitchen and found Raisa working on icing one of her favorite treats, lemon bars. "Yum, what is the occasion?" The housekeeper who was so much more than that smiled warmly in greeting.

"I just thought it would be nice to have a treat after your first day. They just need an hour or so for the icing to set."

"But they're so good slightly gooey," Thea protested, her lips forming a pout.

"Later!" Raisa urged with a laugh. "How about I make some tea and you tell me about your first day at school while we wait."

Not managing words Thea nodded. After the Undertaking nearly all of the staff of Queen Manor were dismissed including Raisa. At the time she was too wrapped up in what was going on in her life to take notice but now being with Raisa again made the way she acted sting sharply.

After Oliver and her dad died her mom shut down unless she needed to make an appearance for QC. Moira could pull herself together long enough to put on a good show for the board, but she couldn't stand to talk with her daughter about the loss they shared. Raisa filled the silence that Thea was drowning in. She listened to her, held her, and was simply there in all the ways she needed. Thea wasn't able to tell Raisa how much that meant before. It was a mistake she wouldn't be repeating.

Raisa came back with the tea pot and cups and the not sixteen year old retrieved cream and sugar. Taking a seat at the counter Thea unzipped her backpack and pulled out her planner. "So my schedule's a bit crazy, but I think I'll be able to handle it."

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A/N: So this chapter was pretty much new content focusing on what Thea was doing in school. We are exactly a year or so from Oliver's arrival.


	3. Chapter 3: Artifice

To Embrace

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Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.

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Chapter 3: Artifice

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Reliving the past in order to change the future meant having good days and bad days. Today was not a good day for Thea Queen. Disorientation, flashbacks, hallucinations, all symptoms that she was warned about before she took the plunge. Oh and death, couldn't forget that little gem. Laurel tried to talk her out of it, but in the end Thea made her choice and it paid off.

It was Sunday. She was supposed to be at some charity brunch with her mother, but after being up all night trying to convince herself she wasn't losing her mind Thea decided she more than deserved a day to herself. She couldn't take being around her mom after seeing her die by Slade's hands again that night. This time she was going to kill him before he ever got close to her family.

Walter and Moira left while Thea ran until she couldn't feel her legs anymore. It was Raisa's day off and the house was quieter than a library. Her phone was blown up with texts requesting her immediate presence and that Park would be around with the car within the hour. Rolling her eyes she headed for the shower.

The hot water cascading over her tired muscles was heaven and Thea leaned against the cold tile of the shower wall. Her body felt like it had just gone several rounds with a pissed off Malcolm Merlyn. She took her time, not caring that her mother demanded her presence. Having the house to herself for most of the day and doing homework while re-watching the O.C. sounded far more tempting than going to the Bowen's charity event. But if she didn't go her mom would be impossible for weeks. Groaning at the obvious conclusion she picked up her pace.

Fifteen minutes later she was swiping on a bright coral red that went by Artifice. It was a little too intense for the daytime event but Thea was hoping it would distract from the dark circles under her eyes that not even her best concealer could completely erase. Her armor wasn't pulling it's weight today.

Footsteps padded down the hallway outside her room and for a moment Thea thought they were in her head until they went to Oliver's room and the door creaked like it always did. Her heartbeat picked up but she knew the chances were slim to none that the person slinking around was an intruder.

She stepped out of her heels and grabbed a letter opener from her desk before making her way to her slightly ajar door. The angle only allowed her a slim view of the person's back. Her steps made no sound as she left her room. She knew who it was when they came into full view, standing in the entranceway of Ollie's bedroom.

Thea didn't remember the last time she saw Tommy Merlyn but she remembered the moment when she learned he was her half brother all too well. After being kidnapped by Slade and terrified she wasn't ready to believe anything he had to say, but after calmly telling her that Malcolm was her father he untied her and left, like he hadn't just destroyed her whole world view. There wasn't a moment she didn't know it was true.

Because it made so much sense. Thea, well having more than a bit of Moira in her did not look anything like Robert Queen or Oliver really. If Tommy were born a girl the similarities between them would not have gone ignored. The resemblance between her and Malcolm was obvious now that she knew there was reason for it to be.

During her time with Malcolm she pondered a lot of things that she now was ashamed of. She wanted to know what it would have been like to grow up Merlyn instead of Queen. If Tommy would have been a better brother than Oliver. The most destructive thought by far was imagining that if he knew she was his daughter all along perhaps he wouldn't have lost himself to grief and rage.

She now knew the truth. Malcolm Merlyn was ruthless and self serving before Rebecca died. Her death might have twisted his morality beyond the pale, but the groundwork for such a change was there long before.

Thea watched as Tommy just leaned up against the door frame and stared into the room no doubt lost in better times gone by. She remembered seeing him do this a few times before. He would come when he thought the house would be empty, but more times than not Thea would be home nursing a hangover or teenage angst. She never interrupted him before, though she wanted to. She knew better than most what it was like to grieve alone.

"Tommy," she called softly. She noticed his shoulders stiffen at being caught and he hesitated before turning around.

The charming smile of Tommy Merlyn turned on full met her hazel gaze. "Thea! Wow, long time no see." Her half brother took a moment to take in her appearance and Thea winced as she was reminded of more than one comment he made about 'how grown up' she looked. Not to mention her seriously misplaced crush she wished she could erase from her memory. "You, look, um kind of tired actually." He quirked an eyebrow at her when he noticed the letter opener she couldn't completely hide.

The unflattering truth made her snort with laughter. Her mother would be so ashamed. "Let me change into something more comfortable. I must look horrible if even you couldn't come up with something nice to say."

Tommy blushed slightly at being called out on his lack of manners. "Sorry about that kiddo, but you might actually fall asleep standing up at whatever boring snooze fest you were headed to."

Rolling her eyes she sent him a look as she disappeared back into her room. "You know very well that I was headed to the Bowen's annual charity of the year brunch. I'm sure you were invited." She managed to change back into a pair of clean running shorts and a thin sweatshirt without ruining her make up. That was talent. She doubted she would go to the party now but there was no reason to screw up her makeup.

Coming back into the hallway she saw Tommy was headed for the stairs, and ultimately the front door. "Nuh uh. My mom wanted me to join her, car's out front and everything, you are my alibi Merlyn." She could see by his face that he did not want to stay, but she wasn't going to let this opportunity go. She would pull out all the stops including a hell of a guilt trip before she let him walk out that door. "Come on, Raisa taught me how to use the fancy coffee machine because I am an addict and there are ginger snaps."

He threw up his hands. "Fine! I'm yours for the afternoon. But I want a cappuccino." They made their way down to the kitchen where Thea pulled what she needed out of the fridge and cupboards, chatting about non important gossip. "I swear it's the truth, if Ollie were here…" Tommy's voice died as he realized who he had just brought up.

Thea, who was finished their drinks, ducked her head as she set down the two mugs. "It doesn't hurt you know, hearing his name. It hurts not to talk about him or dad. Nobody wants to talk about them, not with me anyway." She tried to push vulnerability into her voice. It wasn't an easy task, considering she knew Oliver was very much alive and while she missed her dad it was an old wound.

Tommy cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the emotional admission. "So what has my favorite little Queen been up to?" Tommy asked, changing the subject as he took a seat at the island and pulled his drink towards him.

Old anger rose in her at his dodging. "Not much," she answered flatly.

Her half brother sighed. "Thea, I… I'm sorry."

The young woman shook her head. "Don't be," she said with more venom than she meant, but the feelings she repressed when she was this age the first time were suddenly coming back like they were fresh and new. She was having a hard time keeping her face clear of anger and bitterness. She took a large bite of a cookie to to silence her sudden urge to scream.

It was just another side effect. These emotions weren't that of Thea Queen twenty-three year old and experienced crime fighter. These were from the part of her that was still the lonely teenager who just wanted someone to talk to about the immense loss she suffered and was still suffering. Tommy wasn't the real target for her anger either but at that moment she couldn't make herself care.

"No, I'm, I'm so angry," she whispered, feeling relief at finally being able to admit to what she tried so hard to bury. "I'm angry at everyone. I'm even angry at them. Ollie wouldn't have been on that boat if he weren't running away from Laurel and dad was having a fight with mom at the time."

"How do you know about that?" Tommy asked, momentarily stunned.

Hazel eyes rolled. "Tommy I may have been a kid, but I was far from an idiot."

Sadness touched his expression as he shook his head. "We must have scarred you permanently. God, what you must have heard."

"Don't worry I won't hold your idiocy against you," she teased dryly, trying to lighten the mood and control her emotions but there was a bite to her words that made him flinch. She took as sip from her drink and wiped away the stain left on the white cup with her thumb.

"I miss him like crazy," Tommy admitted softly. "He was my best friend." A silence that wasn't painful descended on the pair. Thea took another bite of her cookie and savored the warmth of the ginger and cinnamon, actually tasting it this time. "I miss you too kid." Her eyes lifted up to see him looking directly at her. She scoffed and turned her head. "I mean it Thea. Your whole family, they were," he swallowed tightly before speaking again, "they were there for me when I needed it. I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for you." He looked genuinely remorseful.

She knew this was an opportunity, if she could just set aside her anger. "You tried," she acknowledged, remembering him warning off her old hook up. "And I pushed you away. You're not perfect Tommy, and neither am I." Her arms folded around her torso in a comforting gesture and she fingered the raised skin of the scar on her elbow. "You know, I'd really like to see you some time other than when you're sneaking in here."

Tommy nodded and masked his grief with a smile. "Oh? What does young Ms. Queen have in mind? Nothing illegal. I don't want your mother to hire a hitman," he joked. Thea chuckled with him for a totally different reason.

"Nothing illegal I promise. I need a work out buddy."

Dark brows rose at her request and he surreptitiously gave her a once over. "This isn't about a boy is it? Because Thea, and I say this from a brotherly place you don't need to change in any way." He brought his hand to her heart and the playful grin on his face was that of the mischievous teen he once was.

A genuine smile lit her face as she shook her head. "Thanks bro, but I am not doing it for a boy. Clears my head, keeps me level. And seeing as how you're putting on some paunch," she patted his stomach as he reached for another cookie. "Looks like you could use a bit of exercise."

Tommy laughed around his cookie. "Wow, well just so you know I haven't had any complaints."

Thea smiled and nodded in agreement. "Not yet anyway." They both laughed and the sound chased away the shadows that lingered in the room. This was how she remembered Tommy. He was light where Oliver was dark. "I bet I can eat more cookies than you," she challenged.

Tommy snorted in response. "You just told me I'm fat."

"So you think I could eat more too."

Blue-green eyes narrowed. "You wanna bet?"

She tilted her head to the side as he fell into her trap. "The Bowen Brunch," she said, holding up her phone to show him the most recent texts from her mother. "I win, you come with me, we'll be fashionably late."

"Wow, you are a little devil you know that?" He chuckled. "But that doesn't mean you're going to win."

Thirty minutes later the half siblings were in the back of the Bentley with Park at the wheel. Thea was smirking at the defeated look on Tommy's face. "I call interference on that play ref," he complained.

"Your own fault for taking the bet after I just ran for an hour," Thea replied without any sympathy. "At least they should be past the speeches and onto the chit chat."

Her half brother mumbled something about small mercies and Thea exchanged a smirk with Park in the rear view mirror. The brunette tugged the zipper of her light coat up a little more. The October air was crisp when they stepped out of the car. Tommy held out his arm and without thinking looped her own through his in the same manner she would Oliver's.

The surprise on Tommy's face was fleeting but a comfortable, easy smile replaced it and Thea felt happiness bubble within her. She couldn't remember the last time she made someone smile from such a simple action.

Thea was right of course. After giving up their fall coverings the half siblings entered the dining hall where the high society of Starling City was buzzing about mimosas in hand. The youngest Queen quickly spotted her mother with Walter and the not so terrible Forbes. As they approached Moira caught sight of them and apprehension flickered across the mask. Thea's sharp eyes took in the sudden tightening of her mother's shoulders and neck. Vindictive pleasure and guilt at feeling that pleasure rolled into the greeting that left her tongue. "Mother, Walter, I'm so sorry I'm late, but look who I found on the way."

Whatever anxiety Moira was feeling over seeing the two of them together was quickly hidden behind years of training. "Tommy, dear so good to see you." Thea dropped her escort's arm as he greeted the newly married couple. "Thea, some of your friends are over there if you would like to go say hello," her mother said pointedly.

"I'm fine mom. I see them at school every day," the brunette answered. She didn't actually, but that didn't make her want to mingle with them any more. The corners of the older woman's perfectly painted mouth turned down. There was no doubt that Moira wanted her daughter away from her half brother, but she was also becoming suspicious about why she was avoiding her old friends and Thea knew it was only a matter of time before her mother spoke up. Looking around the hall for a distraction, the not sixteen year old's eyes widened at a man standing at one of the exits. "I'm going to see what I can scrounge up from the food table." She looked at Tommy who shook his head and padded his stomach.

The brunette waltzed over and took her time picking out the finger food that looked like it was still decent tasting, as well as sneaking a few desert items that had just been set out. She wasn't hungry, but then she wasn't going to eat it.

Thea posted up against the wall right next to John Diggle, who watched her out of the corner of his eye. She ignored his gaze and contemplated the plate of food she held up in front of her. Diggle cleared his throat after a minute. Thea turned as if she just noticed he was there and smiled up at him. "Hungry?" she asked.

"I'm not a guest ma'm," he answered curtly.

Thea's Artifice coated lips curled into something a little more dangerous than a smile. "Well, I'm not old enough to be called ma'm and that isn't what I asked."

His deep brown eyes scanned the room for a moment before he turned, bending and twisting at the waist to block his arm from view, as he snatched a chocolate covered strawberry off her plate in one smooth motion. He popped it in his mouth and returned to his previous position without even a hint that something had just occurred.

Thea laughed and saw the corners of Dig's mouth twitch upwards. John Diggle's playful side was usually reserved for three people and she wasn't one of them. "Well, I'll just leave this here." She placed the plate on the side railing of the wall behind them. As she moved back towards her family, his voice made her pause.

"It was nice meeting you Ms. Queen."

Not being able to resist Thea half turned to face him. "It was nice meeting you too Mr. Diggle." She glimpsed his stunned expression as she turned back around. Her mischievous acts made the cloud of depression that hung over her this morning dissipate and put a spring in her step. Grabbing Tommy's arm she pulled him along with her. "Let's go find something fun to do," she demanded.

"Your mom," he tried to protest.

"She's talking to her old sorority gal pals now, won't even notice I'm gone."

After shooting off a quick text to Park, they picked up their coats and Thea ducked into the ladies room for a moment while the car was brought around.

The color on her mouth seemed jarring in the fluorescent light of the bathroom. The dark circles under her eyes were still there but seemed diminished now. Rummaging through her purse Thea found her make up wipes and quickly took off the offending shade. She didn't need it anymore.

She met Tommy back at the car. He didn't comment on her change in appearance. He opened her door for her and held out his hand to help her into the car with an exaggerated flourish. "Where to my lady?"

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A/N: Thank you to those of you who have reviewed and are supporting this rehashing. Diggle was one character I didn't really have until Oliver returned which is going to change. I've been rewatching the first season and I really love him. I also rewatched that one episode that shows Oliver back in Starling during the third season. This is only a year before Oliver returns so that all happened a year ago I think. I tried to allude to that in Tommy's interaction with Thea while still kind of wiping their slate clean.

Thank you again for reading and I hope to see some comments.

Spoilers for current season and if you don't know you have been under a rock:

So I mention Laurel as being alive in this chapter. To give you an idea of a timeline Thea returned about five years out from when the first season began. I am pretty much ignoring everything that happens after the third season, including Laurel's death and Sara coming back to life. I am keeping the bloodlust and will go into more detail about it in chapters to come. I'd love to hear thoughts on Laurel's death. I haven't been keeping up with this season and I haven't even watched the episode. Mostly I'm disappointed in the waste of a character that was finally figuring out her shit.


	4. Chapter 4: Delicate

To Embrace

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Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.

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Chapter 4: Delicate

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Thea's frown deepened at the computer screen, which only hosted a blank word document. If there was one thing she wasn't it was a good writer. She was maintaining an A- in her English lit class despite this but barely. She took a sip of her long cold coffee and resisted the urge to throw her computer across the tiny coffee shop. Her only solace was that she could more than make up for another not so great paper with the upcoming final exam.

Glancing at the outline on the legal pad next to her she sighed and willed herself to start typing. Apparently her will power was greatly lacking because she stood and walked back to the cash register to order another drink. The bell that announced someone else coming into the cafe rang after she placed her order and Thea half turned in response.

Of all the gin joints in all the world,' Thea thought, her lips twisting into a grin. Not that she was in a gin joint. Unless the Odd Mug started serving something a little harder than espresso without her knowing it, which given her love for good cocktails was doubtful. She caught the way he eyed her laptop before his eyes turned to hers. A slow smile spread across his all too handsome face as he took her in. Thea turned around to accept her fresh coffee from the not so sober barista and didn't look back at her once-lover until she sat down.

Roy Harper took a seat at a table a few feet from her own, but facing away from her after he had his own drink in hand. The boy who in another life became Arsenal was even wearing his signature red hoodie and Thea's hazel eyes softened as she took in his back. She and Roy never reconciled their romantic relationship completely after he returned to support the Green Arrow, but their friendship became far stronger. A trust that they never had before was built through working together.

The Odd Mug was one of their favorite places once upon a time, back when she saw the world in a far more naïve light. They spent hours talking, joking and teasing over cups of decent coffee and pastries that neither of them really liked.

But that was another lifetime. Thea slammed the door on those thoughts. Se wasn't that girl anymore and there was no going back. There was no going back. She could get up, walk out of the shop and never look back. She didn't need to get involved with Roy. Not now, maybe not ever. But there was no telling what would become of him if she stopped them from meeting. Roy told her more than once that she saved his life when she forced him to be more than just a thief.

Zatanna, the person ultimately responsible for her time travel on top of everything else warned her that fate had a funny way of getting what it wanted, one way or another. Thea didn't believe in fate. She couldn't believe in fate because if she did what was the point of coming back to change the future. She did, however believe that Roy Harper would find his way to the Green Arrow or the Hood as he was called originally and trouble again.

Sitting back in the slightly uncomfortable chair the time traveler chewed her bottom lip. She winced as the taste of her lipstick flooded over her tongue. No doubt it was on her teeth now as well. She zoned out for a bit while weighing her options. Thea knew she couldn't exactly go up to him and introduce herself. Roy would hear her name and not so kindly tell her to go be a princess elsewhere.

After a few more minutes of deliberation she made her decision. She backed up the important stuff on her flash drive and locked her computer before grabbing her small cross body purse and standing. Making sure the baseball cap she was wearing was firmly in place on her head Thea moved to Roy's table. "Hey," she managed to spit out after a moment's hesitation.

Eyes that she knew nearly as well as her own looked up. "Yeah?" Roy said with a grin that would have made her knees a little weak the first time around. Now all she wanted to do was snort out a laugh. Roy was only ever smooth when he was trying to steal something.

"I need to use the restroom. Mind watching my stuff till I get back? It will only take a second," she requested.

Roy turned his head, glancing back at her computer. "Sure, no problem" he responded casually. He was always an impressive liar when he tried to be. When they were just starting to date Thea often would tease him about how terrible he was at flirting and then there was his gobsmacked face when she took initiative and kissed him for the first time.

Once in the rather unclean bathroom the brunette ignored the toilet in favor of the mirror. Checking her pearly whites she rubbed at the smudge of Delicate, a soft nude shade that transferred from her lips. She heard the door bell signal the thief's departure. Thea tightened the low ponytail her hair was in, underneath the Rockets cap. She counted to ten and decided she had given Roy enough of a head start.

Opening the bathroom door Thea couldn't suppress her smile. Roy was no longer sitting at his table and her computer and carrying case were absent as well. Not even bothering to complain to the barista who was now jamming to music only he could hear, Thea headed out the door. She zipped up her jacket a little farther against the cold and looked both ways down the street.

Her prey wasn't even around the corner yet to her left, obviously trusting a girl to take longer in the bathroom. His red hoodie made it easy to pick him out of the crowd on the sidewalk, not that there were too many people out and about in this part of the Glades as the sun set. It was a good thing meeting her forced him out of his life of crime. He wasn't very good at it.

Thea shadowed him deeper into the Glades. Eventually he turned down a narrow alley way and the brunette followed keeping a bit of distance. Looking around the corner, she frowned when she found it empty. She cautiously walked deeper in.

But Roy was nowhere to be seen. Letting out a huff Thea shook her head. Maybe she was getting too cocky. It was completely embarrassing that he managed to lose her. She was about to turn back and head for his house when something clattered above her.

The brunette looked up just in time to see Roy's figure drop from a fire escape. Her hand flew to the hidden blade she kept on her back under her clothes despite knowing he wouldn't hurt her.

"You know the kind of people who don't call the police when something is stolen from them?" Roy asked as he walked forward into her space.

Thea inwardly glared at his smug look before sending a no doubt confusing smile of her own. "People who want to punch the thief in the face?" she guessed dryly, trying to ignore the thrill she got from the exchange. After Roy returned to Star City it took some time to get back any sort of relationship between them but the banter between them was always thoughtless and free.

Her once upon a time boyfriend snorted. "No, people with something to hide. You trusted the wrong person with your stuff, which you no doubt stole yourself. Run along now before you get your delicate self hurt." He made a shooing motion and the urge to break several fingers on that hand rushed through her. She would show him how 'delicate' she was.

Thea stepped towards the thief and squared her shoulders. "The only thing delicate about me is my lipstick."

Roy's eyes flicked to her lips before he chuckled and shook his head. "You can't be more than 110 pounds soaking wet. Go home."

"What's the matter? You only fight in your own weight class?" Thea teased closing the distance between them, her grin turning just this side of vicious. Her small frame was something she constantly struggled with. Putting on the muscle weight that was required to fight was not easy and she fought for every bit she had. It was one of the reasons she relied on blades so often despite her brother's objections. He thought they were too lethal, so she tipped them with a mild paralytic that ensured all she needed was a few shallow cuts.

Her thief took a step back, probably without even realizing it and was about to respond when another voice broke in. "Harper!" The pair in the alley turned their attention to the street where four youngish thug types just entered.

"Shit," Roy cursed under his breath and shot a worried look at Thea. She didn't share his concern, quite the contrary. After years of training and fighting Thea knew trouble when she saw it. These four thugs were the best kind of trouble. None of them had bodies to write home about and hers itched to do some damage. The dark hunger the Lazarus Pit infected her with stirred and Thea breathed deeply through her nose. The bloodlust she felt now was curbed through years of keeping it at bay and meditation. As long as a fight didn't go on for too long she could remain fully in control. But there was a part of her that enjoyed the fight and causing her opponents pain more than she liked to let on.

"You owe me some money Harper," the guy Thea identified as the leader said. The three followers fanned out, blocking her and Roy's only exit from the alley. Her eyes ran over their forms trying to discern what weapons, if any they were carrying.

Roy's eyes shifted between them as he walked forward till he was between Thea and the new arrivals, his mind obviously trying to figure out how he was going to get out of this situation. "Yeah well I got your money right here," he lifted the black case in his hand. "Laptop, and its high end."

"My laptop," Thea interjected, drawing all eyes to her. Roy half turned to glare at her, clearly trying to convey the message, 'shut up'. She raised an eyebrow with a scornful look in return.

Thug leader grinned, showing her a mouthful of not so appealing teeth. "What do we have here?" His eyes raked over her as he stepped around Roy and towards her. "Damn Harper! Not man enough to pay your own debts you gotta have your friends bail you out?" The wanna-be gangster circled her. Thea caught sight of a piece in the back of his jeans.

"We're not friends. I believe you could classify our relationship with the words thief and mark. Him being the former."

This only made the thug whistle appreciatively. "You sure picked a fine ass mark. Got a fancy mouth on her too."

Hazel eyes skimmed over the other three as the exchange of words took place. She doubted they were carrying, but probably one if not all of them had at least a knife on them.

"Kel man, just leave her alone. She must have followed me. I got your money." Roy started toward them and Thea smiled inwardly at the way he was trying to protect her, a stranger. It reminded her of the time that she was hassled right outside of his place. Looking at the goons she wondered if they were the same. One of the other boys grabbed Roy's shoulder keeping him in place.

The newly identified Kel chuckled. "Aww you always were a punk ass bitch Harper. Don't worry I'll be nice to her and her fancy mouth." Thea ground her teeth as he reached out and flicked her ponytail that hung under her cap. It would take her less than a second to turn, grab his wrist and snap it like a toothpick. "With looks like yours baby you could make a lot of money." Kel circled around to her front. "I know someone who could set you up with a sweet little gig." Thea nearly shivered with anticipation knowing the fight was soon. It had really been too long since she dealt violence to someone.

"Really?" Thea asked stepping into Kel's space with a wicked smile that he no doubt would misinterpret. "That is really generous of you," she said letting the sentence linger. Roy's confused face over Kel's shoulder caught her attention and she couldn't repress the urge to wink at him as she trailed a hand up the thug's chest. "But I'm going to have to decline your offer." The brunette said it like it was an actual loss as she played with the collar of Kel's jacket. "See, I'd rather beat you and your boys unconscious," she added a little head tilt to sweeten the innocent picture she was painting in contrast to her threatening words.

It seemed to take a second for her words to sink in. When they did Kel threw his head back and laughed. His followers joined him a beat after. He wrapped an arm around her with his hand landing directly on her butt. "Your skinny ass is going to beat me and my boys? And how exactly are you going to manage that?" he asked reaching out to pull her cap off.

Without changing the sweet expression on her face Thea took a firm grip on his collar as her other hand swept up in a flash and delivered a powerful blow directly to the thug's throat. The other men in the alley could only blink and a second later Kel was on the ground gasping for air through his damaged wind pipe and Thea had his gun in her hand. She quickly discharged the magazine and emptied the chamber. At her feet Kel tried to struggle to his feet only to receive a knock out blow to his face from Thea's booted foot. The thought to finish it and not let him ever get up again flitted through her mind before she easily ignored it.

"Yep me and my skinny ass," she taunted the unconscious guy below her. Adrenaline was high and she wanted another opponent. Kel's posse finally came unglued from their shock at seeing a featherweight girl take out their leader. The first one to react and start forward lost at least one tooth when Thea whipped the now empty, but not so harmless gun at his face. He went down to his knees with his hands flying up to his suddenly bloody mouth.

The remaining two opponents in the alley came at her all at once and Thea easily ducked and weaved around their slow punches before dealing her own blows till they were both on the ground. The thug with missing teeth and bloody face staggered towards her with a knife which Thea smoothly disarmed him of before dislocating his arm and striking him in the temple.

Silence rained in the alley as the brunette turned to the last man standing. The hunger for more writhed under her skin and made her almost wish Roy was an enemy. Her hand casually found the pocket of her jacket, but the thing she was searching for was missing. She bit back at the frustration her unpreparedness caused and focused on getting herself out of the alley and away. Roy who was still holding her computer bag gaped at her in disbelief. Much in the same way he had after she kissed him in that hospital room. The sweet memory gave her the strength to open her mouth and speak. "My computer please. Or do I need to take it from you?" she asked holding out her hand for the case.

Wordlessly it was offered. "Thank you," she said with genuine gratitude. His quick surrender cooled her blood enough that she chanced further interaction, holding up a hand she showed him her battered knuckles. She absently wished she'd been able to tape them up before this little dance. "Not quite as delicate as you thought, am I?" Thea strode out of the alley without a backward glance at the mess she made.

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A/N: So this for the most part is a chapter from the original story that has just been expanded on. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and been following this story. I really enjoy your comments and thoughts so please keep'um coming.

So this chapter was the beginning of what my interpretation of Thea's bloodlust is like which I kind of ignored before because we actually just learned about it when I wrote the original version.

Naitch03: Moira was actually one of the reasons I wanted to go back and do this rewrite because I felt I didn't really utilize her. I find her incredibly difficult to write so that is one reason and the other is I have a hard time imagining what Thea would feel towards her mother and how she could go about having a relationship with her. I do have a short interaction with them written and will have a chapter with just the two of them coming up.

TooLegit: This was just an intro the bloodlust. I hate when the show just drops a character's arc for the sake of convenience which is what I feel like happened.

Loves to read books: Thea will be getting a friend! There will be one more school chapter before she graduates and more Raisa and Park soon. Good luck with the rest of your finals!


	5. Chapter 5: Serendipity

To Embrace

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Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.

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Chapter 5: Serendipity

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Elevator music always seemed pointless to Thea. Was it really so hard to be in a small silent space with strangers? Did shitty jazz really make that big of a difference? Whoever decided on the music for QC's lifts needed to be fired because it was awful. She shifted her weight from her left to her right and winced slightly as a muscle in her calf twinged. She really needed to take a break from her routine, but couldn't bring herself to. She was more than a little addicted.

Another employee got into the car and the portly man's eyes widened when they landed on her before quickly turning around. Thea rolled her eyes at the action. Yes, her last name was Queen, but she was still only a teenager or so everyone thought. It wasn't like she actually had any power at the company, yet there were still plenty of workers who went the other way when they saw her walking through the halls. She figured it was a better reaction though than those that gossiped about what a train wreck she turned out to be. Office people.

The car continued to rise and Thea wished she had taken the executive elevator. They stopped again and she caught sight of the directory as the doors opened. IT was listed amongst the other departments and for a moment she wondered if Felicity would get on. When Oliver died Thea was too wrapped up in her anger and her mission to go back to see the pain in the other woman. Everyone took her brother's death hard but the only one who came close to her own despair was Felicity. The doors of the elevator closed and there was no Felicity.

The loneliness Thea had been feeling for months pressed in and she was relieved when the car finally stopped at her floor. Pulling her face into a happy expression she waved at Lin before coming to a halt at the open glass door.

"Knock knock." Walter Steele looked up to see his stepdaughter at his office door.

"Thea!" The CEO of Queen Consolidated closed his notes from his morning meetings. "What a welcome surprise. Come in," he beckoned shuffling around some paperwork on his desk.

Thea smiled widely as she stepped through the glass entryway. She missed this, visiting Walter at the office. After all that happened in the future Walter still kept in touch with her. They called each other fairly often and once in a while would share a meal when they were in the same city. He took Moira's death hard and left Starling soon after her funeral. But he always made time for her even when she was a messed up teenager. The effort meant so much more to her now that she was older. "I was wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch."

Walter's face fell. "You know I would love that, but I have a lunch appointment with…" His voice trailed off as he opened his schedule on the desktop in front of him, "A T.Q." Quirking a dark eyebrow at her grinning face the bald man chuckled. "You don't need to make an appointment with me to talk Thea," Walter told her as he came around his desk and grabbed his coat from the rack.

She did actually. Mr. Stanbarry hadn't been lying when he said her course load would be stressful and difficult. Thea barely had time to keep up her weekly work outs with Tommy. Another thing that concerned her mother. At first she didn't understand why Moira was suddenly being so cold to her half brother and trying to dissuade Thea from spending time with him. Sure Tommy was still a bit of a party animal, but Moira didn't seem to have a problem with him when he and Oliver were getting into trouble. Then it dawned on her that Moira was concerned there was something happening between the two of them. She shut that idea down quickly, assuring her mom she saw Tommy as an older brother.

The youngest Queen shuddered slightly at the nightmarish memory of the one time something almost did happen between them and pulled her head back to Walter in front of her. "I know, I just thought it was time we got to know one another a bit more," Thea said slowly leading the way to the elevator. She had awakened only a short while after he and her mother married and she knew she hadn't been the most receptive to the idea before or immediately following the ceremony. Originally Walter reached out and the two got used to each other over time but thanks to her busy schedule she barely had any time to spare.

Walter shot her a grateful smile. "That sounds wonderful." He hummed in thought as the elevator dinged. "I feel like I may be getting us off to a rocky start, but I know your mother wouldn't mind seeing you around more too." Thea winced at the gentle reprimand. "I know you've been very focused on your school work and that is commendable…" he trailed off, obviously unsure if he had any right to comment.

"I know, I've just been really busy. It's finals right now, I didn't have any this afternoon, which is why I have this time," she explained.

Walter's eyes softened. "Well I'm glad that you are here and I know it's not really my place but I am proud of you." The words warmed her and she gave him a genuine smile. "So tell me, I know you have a birthday coming up, any big plans?"

Her long curls shook from side to side. "I was thinking just dinner with you and mom. How does that sound?"

Her stepfather smiled and nodded with approval. "That sounds absolutely wonderful. I'm sure your mother will be thrilled. Where are we having lunch?" Walter asked as they descended to the lobby.

"Have you ever eaten at Big Belly Burger?" Thea asked with mischief in her voice.

Walter laughed. "I may adore fine wine and the some of the best cuisine this city has to offer, but there is a special place in my heart for the triple B."

They both chuckled and Walter asked about the tests she had left as they exited the elevator and avoided a large puddle of coffee that was being mopped up by a custodian. Thea was about to answer when the CEO's phone went off. Shooting an apologetic look at his stepdaughter Walter answered it. "Yes, Charles?" The bald man's face stayed calm and stoic as he listened. "No I didn't authorize that." Thea tried not to be disappointed as she saw her lunch plans go out the window. She truly wanted to spend some time with Walter that didn't include talking about her current problems with her mother. "No I can't meet you down at the site this afternoon. I have a presentation scheduled. Now?" The man muffled the phone against his chest.

"Go, go," Thea shooed with a wave. "Go be a CEO. I will see you at dinner tonight." He probably wouldn't. She had more exams the next day and her plan was to hit the books as soon as she returned to the manor. She also wanted some time with a punching bag.

Her stepfather gave her an apologetic smile. "Rain check, I promise." He squeezed her shoulder and headed back to the CEO's private elevator.

Shaking her head Thea made a pitstop in the restroom before she went to lunch solo. It seemed to be fate's hand that guided her into the bathroom because there at one of the sinks was none other than Felicity Smoak, futilely trying to get a very large coffee stain out of her pale pink, button-up blouse.

For a second Thea couldn't manage anything other than to stare at her friend and almost sister-in-law. Swallowing thickly, Thea managed words. "Coffee accident?"

Wide blue eyes met hazel and the older woman flushed. "I was hoping no one would witness my embarrassment."

"Should have tried somewhere other than the lobby bathrooms," Thea suggested.

"Thanks," Felicity bit out with venom making the brunette raise a manicured brow. Felicity saw the look and turned redder. "Sorry, bad mood. This," she gestured to her shirt. "was coffee for the management staff of the IT department, that I was asked to get despite the fact I am not a secretary, no matter what my hair color suggests." Throwing a bunch of paper towels in the trash Felicity let out a huff of frustration. "Two degrees from MIT and I'm getting coffee. I should have taken that position at S.T.A.R. Labs. Hell, I bet Wayne Enterprises would have been better than this and trust me I am not Gotham material."

Thea listened to the tirade without interrupting unable to suppress a small laugh at Felicity's expense. The sound brought the bottle blonde's attention back to the only other person in the bathroom. "Sorry I don't normally spill my frustrations out to a perfect stranger, but IT has this presentation today, I will be giving part of it and the head of every department is going to be there including the CEO and I'm covered in three different latte's because some idiot wasn't watching where they were going when they came out of the elevator." Felicity took a deep breath, her words got louder towards the end of her rant. "And still blurting out my problems." The IT girl apologized again still flushed with embarrassment.

"Do you have time to run home and change?" Thea asked sympathetically, trying to be a solution for the girl who was usually solving other people's problems.

Felicity shook her head in the negative. "No I'm supposed to be up in IT right now with coffee and finish up some last minute adjustments to the presentation, cause there in apparently no one else but me who actually does work up there."

The brunette's lips twitched as Felicity's hand shot to her mouth in horror at what she just said. The younger woman assessed the mess in front of her. "You're a four right? Did the coffee go all the way through to your bra?" Felicity nodded glumly, but shot Thea a confused face. Pulling out her phone Thea scrolled through her contacts and pressed the call button. She gave the latte-covered woman who was watching her curiously smile. It was amazing to see her like this. After Oliver died something in Felicity broke. Though the two had called it quits on their relationship a while before for reasons not even Thea could drag out of Oliver, something still lingered between the two. Dig, who was out of the business for the most part after his son was born took the tech genius away from it all. Felicity returned to talk to Thea one last time and their conversation made her all the more determined to save her brother.

"Umm what are you doing?" Felicity asked while the phone rang.

"Playing fairy god mother," she told the blonde. "Hey Mina. Oh, this isn't about my mother's dress. Listen I need a favor, could you get me a blouse in a size four that will go with a dark grey pencil skirt." Felicity made noised of protest once she realized what Thea was doing, but the younger woman just held up her hand. "Yes, something business appropriate, not too boring and it needs to go with, hold on. "What color is that on your lips?"

"Uhh Elixery, Serendipity..." the blonde answered, sounding as if she was unsure that she wanted to.

"It needs to go with a color called Serendipity by Elixery. It's a fabulous mauve. And I need a bra as well." Thea eyed Felicity's chest unabashedly. "32 B. Could you have it boxed up and delivered to QC to one," Thea paused, making a show of reading Felicity's employee ID. "Felicity Smoak, spelled S-M-O-A-K in IT. Yes, ASAP. That's perfect. Yep, thank you!"

Ending the call Thea smiled at her stunned friend whose mouth was trying to form words. "You didn't have to do that- I-"

"You were having a rough day and I just made it easier," Thea interrupted. "The clothes should be here in about 25 minutes or so, just enough time for you and me to go pick up some more coffee." The younger woman headed to the bathroom door. "Or better yet blow off the coffee and we can pick up some lunch at Big Belly Burger, I for one am starving."

Felicity stayed rooted to her spot mouth agape. "Who are you?"

Thea smiled widely her energy renewed from the short exposure to her old friend. "Told you, your fairy god mother. Now grab your coat and lets go get some fries Cinderella!" The blonde didn't know quite what to do other than follow Thea from the bathroom.

The brunette breathed in the frosty air of winter as she and Felicity made their way down QC's front steps. "But, seriously who are you?"

"Thea Queen."

Felicity stopped in her her tracks. "I'm sorry, I thought I just heard you say Thea Queen."

"Felicity Smoak," she addressed turning on her heel to look the genius in the eye, "I think we are going to be really great friends, but I just finished a brutal lit exam, an only slightly better physics test and I'm starving, so if you don't get your butt moving I might do something really unpleasant." She turned back to her objectively just as sharply and continued towards happiness.

"Okay, okay," Felicity surrendered and fell back in step with the shorter woman. "Wait, sorry friends?" Hazel eyes gave her a sideways look. "It's just people with the last name Queen are not friends with people whose last name is Smoak. I mean employers yes, friends no."

"Well I guess that will just have to change."

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A/N: So I only slightly edited this chapter because I really liked it the first time. Sorry there really isn't anything new here. Next chapter is new. Thanks as always for following and reviewing this story.

bookgirl18: I hope it won't stop you from reading but this won't be a Thea/Roy story. That doesn't mean there isn't some Roy/Thea goodness in the future.


	6. Chapter 6: Girl Talk

To Embrace

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Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.

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Chapter 6: Girl Talk

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A knock at her bedroom door pulled Thea away from the chemical equation she had been working on and she glanced over at Sin who was sitting on the floor in front of her coffee table with a history text open and a notebook in hand. "Come in!" she called to whoever was at the door. She was expecting Raisa who promised late night snacks and some coffee but the door swung open to reveal her mom instead.

Moira Queen looked every bit the half of a power couple she is in a pressed pant suit that fits her perfectly. "Oh, I didn't know you had a guest over." Her mom tried to appear warm and friendly but there is a weight to her gaze that Thea knew wouldn't go unnoticed by her friend. "A moment dear?" With the politely worded order, Moira disappeared from the doorway no doubt down the hall to her study.

"That's your mom?" Sin asked incredulously, but with a hint of awe in her voice. "She is positively terrifying. I think I want to be her when I grow up."

The youngest Queen sighed and threw a look at her friend who raised her hands in surrender. Their unlikely friendship came as a surprise even to Thea. At the beginning of the new semester she was stunned to recognize a very disgruntled Sin clomping down the hallway of her school.

The teenager was apparently there on some sort of scholarship and just about to quit because she couldn't stand being in a school of "prissy rich bitches". It was not her idea of a good time, not to mention her feelings on wearing a skirt. Sin, paranoid and distrustful didn't accept Thea's offer of friendship until she witnessed the youngest Queen give the verbal thrashing of a lifetime to several of her more irritating peers.

"I'll be right back." The other girl acknowledged the statement with a chuckle and Thea rolled her eyes. During the short trip to her mother's study she scrambled her brain trying to think of what her mother could possibly need to speak to her about, but was coming up with nothing. It was the beginning of February and after the festivities of New Years and Thea's birthday, there wasn't anything much on the social calendar.

Her mother was seated behind the desk that used to belong to Robert Queen and for a moment Thea remembered sneaking into his office while he was working and begging for some time with her too busy father. She shook the image of her dad's smiling face and the smell of his cigar from her mind and focused on her mom who appeared quite displeased.

"What's going on?"

"Did you think I wouldn't find out? How long were you going to wait to tell me?" Thea blinked at the questions not quite sure where her mom was asking about. Moira was impatient and didn't leave her daughter in the dark for long. "I received a phone call from a Mr. Stanbarry today." The light bulb clicked on and she winced. "When exactly were you going to tell me that you are going to graduate high school come June?"

"It isn't a big deal." As soon as the words left her mouth she knew they were a mistake.

Moira narrowed her eyes. "I find my youngest child finishing secondary school, a year early, a very big deal!" When Thea didn't give any more of a reaction the matriarch stood and came around the desk. "I just don't understand how this all happened. One minute I was worried you were going to go down the same path as-" Thea sucked in a sharp breath as her mother stopped abruptly, suddenly realizing what she was about to say. The older woman brought a hand to her mouth and shook her head. "This is such a good thing and I'm so proud of you. Why didn't you say anything?"

Thea wondered why as well. It was just so easy not to say anything. She didn't remember ever really sitting down and having a real conversation with her mom since she came back. Her birthday dinner was the closest thing and that was filled with idle chit chat that meant nothing. There was still bitterness and anger in her over all the secrets Moira kept.

What was even worse was she was beginning to understand her mother's perspective. Sure she knew it was for the best that she kept her time traveling and knowledge of future events a secret. But that wasn't why she kept Tommy in the dark about their shared DNA. It was simply easier to not say anything. She liked what they had now and didn't want it to change.

"I don't know why," she finally replied not wanting to look too hard at her reasons and find them lacking.

Her mother's disappointed eyes turned away and she walked to the lit fireplace. "You've changed so much. You're so quiet and focused." She paused before coming to the conclusion, "I don't know you at all anymore."

Thea's feet moved before her brain knew where she was going and her arms wrapped tightly around her mom. She could tell her mother was surprised by the embrace but returned it. It was a sad truth that she honestly couldn't remember the last time they hugged. "I know," she said still holding on tight. "I know I'm different and I'm sorry I've been so distant, I just needed to figure some things out on my own."

Moira pulled back with a soft laugh. "I think you figured them out all right." Her blue eyes shone with unshed tears and something in Thea cracks. "My baby's all grown up." They both let out a watery laugh at that. "So what's next college? Have you been applying?"

The brunette repressed a groan before answering, "I really have no idea where I want to go or what I want to do, so I was thinking Starling City University until I figure it out." She could tell this didn't exactly thrill her mom, but tough shit.

"And this summer? Do you have any plans?"

"Drugs, alcohol and lots of sex," Thea quipped with a smile.

"Ha ha," Moira responded with a look that said she was less than amused.

"Actually I was thinking about an internship and I've done some research on some ones available for recent high school graduates." It wasn't a lie. "The application deadlines are in late March so I still have plenty of time."

Her mom's face brightened at the news. "Well if you need anything…" Her voice trailed off as Thea's face turned sour. She didn't want her mother butting in on this. "Alright, alright I get it. So who was your friend I didn't recognize her?" she asked changing the subject.

"That's Sin."

One perfectly sculpted brow rose. "Sin? That cannot be the name her parents gave her."

Thea winced at her mother's superior tone and was glad the two weren't introduced earlier. "No, they named her Cindy, but now they're dead."

Moira had the decency to look somewhat ashamed. "I'm sorry dear."

The younger woman shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Sin goes to my school on a scholarship but to keep it she has to stay with her current foster family who aren't the best of people." She gave her mother a pointed look.

The blonde matriarch nodded, understanding her daughter's unspoken request. "I'll look into it."

"Quietly please," she requested. "She is very proud." The comment was not meant to be a criticism. Sin was proud and Thea was glad for it because with that pride came strength that she knew she could always rely on.

Moira jotted down what Thea knew about the situation before the two said good night. When the brunette finally closed the door behind her she let out a sigh of relief. Of all the ways that confrontation could have gone that was probably the best. It was a small but very critical step towards being open with her mom.

Her sudden good mood came crashing down when she stepped back into her room and saw Sin looking at her sketch book. She bit her tongue so she didn't snap at the invasion of privacy. The other teenager looked up and instantly flushed red dropping the book like a hot brick. "I'm so sorry, I just, you know art is my thing and I was just curious. I shouldn't have, I know I shouldn't have."

Thea swallowed any anger and shrugged. She crossed the room quickly and scooped the book up, hugging it to her chest "I, well, you're kind of an artist and these are just sketches." While she tried to look embarrassed she mentally ran down every drawing that was in the book. Drawing was a habit she picked up in Corto Maltese after kind of befriending a street artist.

"They're not bad ya know," Sin said trying to break the awkward silence that had settled. Thea raised an eyebrow at her. "I mean they're pretty good," she fumbled for words. "I like your heavy lines and the dramatic shadowing." The not seventeen year old couldn't recall any pieces that could reveal anything substantial so with some trepidation she handed the book back to the obviously curious Sin. "This one in particular is gorgeous." The excited art enthusiast flipped to a page that Thea knew well.

It was Oliver. She remembered the day that inspired the drawing well. She found him asleep on the window seat with a book on his chest, head leaning against the glass and his breath fogging up the cold surface. It was their last Christmas together. They had attempted to cook for all of their friends and while they didn't fail it had exhausted them both. It was his face that had struck her. The frown lines that were nearly permanent on even his blank face while awake were smoothed over in slumber. He looked peaceful.

"Is that your brother?" The question was quiet and respectful. After Thea nodded Sin did something completely unexpected. She set the book aside and gently wrapped her arms around the other girl. It took Thea by surprise. Sin was always a hugger but they had yet to cross that line in their newly developing friendship. She returned the embrace tightly.

When the two let go Thea quickly wiped at her eyes and turned away. "Milkshakes."

"What?"

"Milkshakes," she repeated while plopping down in front of her vanity. Her face wasn't in bad shape, but she touched up her eyeliner and dabbed on a bit of bright pink eye shadow for a little color. After deeming the job acceptable she walked into her closet with purpose.

"I like this color!" Sin called from her room. She followed up the comment with a snort. "Girl Talk? Dumb name."

"Dumb name aside it goes very well with my outfit," Thea said while stepping out from around her closet door.

Sin whistled low. "Oh girl, we are so doing more tonight than just milkshakes with you dressed like that."

Flat black ankle boots gave way to black leather pants that hugged her butt in a way she knew looked fantastic. A long sleeved silvery mesh shirt gave a peak at the flesh that wasn't covered by a black bralette underneath. "Want to borrow something from my closet?"

"Borrow," Sin snorted as she made her way into Thea's lair. "Please, you are never going to see whatever I pick out again. Oh my god, yassssss. I mean a lot of it isn't me but it isn't possible to not appreciate this much amazing."

Once Sin was dressed, keeping her own pants but taking a deep red three quarter length sleeve top with had a criss cross back, Thea led her down to the garage. "So, do you have anything lower profile than the Bentley, cause the places I wanna take you, we're gonna stick out like a soar thumb.

The youngest Queen smirked and turned to a cabinet that held some of her brother's old riding gear. She knew her brother kept a few smaller jackets in here when he wanted to take someone for a ride. Holding out one for Sin who looked a bit confused she just grinned and went further down the line of cars until arriving at their destination.

"Oh Queen, you are full of surprises." Before them was her brother's old bike, tuned up and ready for a night out thanks to the request Thea had put in for just an occasion such as this. "Can you really drive this?" Sin asked with a bit of trepidation in her voice. "I mean, you are ridiculously ripped, but this is…a beast of a machine."

"Yep, have a license and everything." It wasn't a lie. She forged her mother's signature on the papers and payed some hush money to a few DMV employees so they wouldn't go to the press about the Queen wild child.

Sin let a hand run down the sleek lines of the bike. "And here I thought I was going to be corrupting you."

Thea laughed and tossed her a helmet before grabbing her own. "We're going out the side door and pushing it down the drive a bit before starting her up." Once they accomplished that Thea swung her leg over and balanced the bike as Sin climbed on. The hum of the engine between her thighs made Thea itch for a night out with a quiver and bow strapped to her back.

She opened up the throttle once they were on the road into the city and heard Sin cry out in delight from behind her. The lights of Starling came into view as they wove their way around cars to their first destination of the night. They pulled over near the best burger shack in the Glades.

After the most satisfying milkshake of her new life Sin dragged her down a few blocks to a seedy looking bar. As soon as they entered and ditched their gear in a dark corner, Thea knew it was going to be one of her favorite places in the city. A beat that you could dance to pumped through the air and many patrons were taking full advantage. It was crowded, dark, slightly dirty and absolutely perfect.

"I'm gonna get us some drinks, cause I don't dance without a little alcohol in me," Sin told her, raising her voice to be heard over the music.

"Remember I'm driving!" Thea called after her.

"That's responsible, not drinking and driving," a voice she knew well said from behind her.

She turned to see Roy, standing there, looking hotter than anybody had a right to with a busted lip. Or perhaps she found him bruised and bloody attractive in a twisted way. Her paranoia kicked in for a second, wondering how he found her but then she remembered, technically she was on his turf. "Well, hello thief."

He chuckled, his smile pulling at his wounded lip. "The name is Roy."

She tilted her head and shrugged. "Great, totally unwanted information, but great." Her eye caught Sin trying to make her back through the dancers and she stepped towards her direction. A hand landed on her arm to stop her.

She looked back at her once upon a time lover and simply raised an eyebrow with a glance at his offending appendage. "I think I illustrated why that so isn't a good idea."

"I need your help." There was a pleading tone in his voice that reminded her of times long past and it made her pause.

"Yo, hands off my girl Abercrombie." Sin's glare was fierce and she looked like she was about to throw down the drinks she just bought so her fist could acquaint itself with Roy's face. Thea wanted to laugh at the change in the way the three of them came together, but all that matters was that they did.

The boy who was her first love dropped her arm and took a step back. "Sin, this is Roy, he stole my laptop about a month ago, or should I say tried to steal it."

Sin handed off her drink. "Huh, and why is he bothering you now?"

Roy's cheeks flushed and he looked ready to flee. "He wants my help, probably with whoever decided to ruin his pretty face." She heard Sin mumble they didn't ruin anything under her breath and Thea chuckled. Roy opened his mouth to speak but she didn't let him. "Chen's Garden on 7th and Williamson tomorrow at one." She tipped her drink back and downed the whole thing.

Sin made a shooing motion at him. "That's a dismissal pretty boy." Roy left after a dramatic eye roll that made Thea nostalgic. "Come on Queen, you've been work work work and no play for too long."

The two girls dropped their empty cups off at a table and let themselves get lost in the small sea of bodies, keeping their hands entwined so as to not lose each other. All the worry and stress that was wrapped up in her muscles began to melt as the beat thudded through her chest. The need to do well, to push her body to its limit, to be a teenager when she just wasn't one and to not fall apart from the grief that still made her chest tight left her mind as her body moved. This release was what she'd been missing.

They danced till the early hours of the morning and by the time Thea came home her voice was gone and her thighs were stiff. They snuck into the manor as quietly as possible and kicked off their shoes before collapsing into her bed.

Sin rolled over next to her and Thea could see the grin she was sporting in the wintry morning light. "That was so much fucking fun."

"We totally need to make that a habit," Thea agreed. "Hey Sin."

"Hhhmmm?" Sin hummed, her eyes shut.

"Thanks for being my friend."

"Right back at you Queen."

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A/N: So Sin's here! No they are not going to be a couple. …Or will they? I honestly don't know. One of my favorite points of season 2 was Sara's completely unquestioned sexuality and I kind of crushed hard on Sin.

This is officially the end of my rapid chapter updates. Sorry, but I cannot keep up the pace so I'm hoping to go for a chapter every week from now on.

Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing. Hope to hear some more. Let me know what you guys think of Sin and my attempt at Moira.


	7. Chapter 7: Teeth

To Embrace

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Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.

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Chapter 7: Teeth

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Chapter warning: This chapter is dark. Mentions of rape and explicit violence. This story is rated M for a reason beyond my bad language.

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Sweat dripped from Thea's face as she raised her hands above her head and forced her lungs to expand. Her legs were on fire in the best kind of way and she was high on endorphins. She put one foot in front of the other as she began her cool down walk back to the manor. The wheezing breath of her running partner didn't make her pause or turn around.

"I hate you so much right now," Tommy choked out between gasps as he slowed his jog down to a walk. "It's not even seven o'clock. What the hell are you made of Queen?"

Thea laughed. "Stronger stuff than you Merlyn."

Tommy fell in step with her or rather limped. "I can't believe I agreed to this."

"You are doing great and didn't you tell me not a week ago how appreciative the ladies are of your bod?" she asked with more than a bit of sarcasm.

The self-proclaimed play boy shook his head and bit back a groan as muscles pulled. "Ok, one, I did not say bod, I don't say bod and two I thought I was doing great too and then you just blew that idea to smithereens when you lapped me twice today."

Thea chuckled again and lifted her long sleeved shirt to wipe the sweat off her face. One of the terrible things about getting sweaty was the acne that cropped up around her hairline.

"What's that?" Tommy asked his voice devoid of any previous humor.

His half-sibling's head came up to see what he was looking at and found she was the focus of his gaze, or more specifically her stomach. His blue green eyes were staring at a splotchy bruise that covered the bottom left half of her rib cage curtesy of a luck shot from Roy.

After meeting with him and stuffing her face with beef with broccoli and crab rangoon she listened to his problem. The guys that he was paying a debt off to, which he finished paying soon after he tired to steal from her, decided they were going to continue using his thieving skills for their benefit. She also got the feeling it was payback for the humiliation she caused that Roy witnessed. His face was only the tip of the ice burg and he was black and blue all over after refusing their 'offer'. So a completely embarrassed Roy asked her to help him by training him to fight. She said yes immediately and without much thought. It was after all her fault he was in this situation and she realized he could very well be seriously injured or killed by those assholes.

They met three times a week in an older boxing gym in the Glades. Thea payed the owner to keep the place cleared out for the time they were there. After two weeks Roy was making good progress. He was a natural fighter and the state of her ribs was proof of that. He had gotten a little too cocky after landing the kick though and Thea took great pleasure in showing him how far he had to go.

She dropped her shirt quickly and shrugged. "I'm taking racket sports this semester at school. My partner's backhand could use some work. I'm hoping she'll actually hit the ball soon instead of me."

Her brother didn't look completely convinced of her story but he dropped the subject. They parted at the manor, and Thea headed up the stairs to get ready for the day. She was reading the news on her phone and on her second cup of coffee when Park walked in with an unexpected guest.

"And this is the kitchen, feel free to come in here and grab yourself a cup of coffee in the morning. You might even catch a glimpse of a very rare sight. A teenager up before eight." Her driver and friend leaned against the counter and grinned at her.

She sent him an eye roll and glanced at John Diggle who raised an eyebrow at her. "Your usual?" she asked Park before moving to get the man his ridiculously sugary latte.

"Yes, please," he replied politely before dropping into the seat that she vacated and picked up her phone. "How was your run?"

A wicked grin spread across her face. "I think I nearly killed Tommy." Her driver huffed out a laugh and Diggle shifted on his feet. Thea could tell he was trying to figure out what kind of relationship she had with Park. "He was making this god awful wheezing noise. Can I get you something?" the brunette shot at Digg.

The dark skinned man's eyes widened a bit before he answered with a small smile. "Black coffee, if you have it."

"See, that is a real drink, not this milky nonsense," she teased while pouring the freshly brewed espresso into a mug of steamed milk she had prepared a few minutes before the pair walked into the kitchen.

"Like you don't drink them, oh yeah, Thea this is John Diggle, he was just hired on, Diggle this is Thea Queen. Whatever you've heard about her, it's probably not true."

"Unless of course it's that I am amazing and have a fashion sense to die for. That is true," she corrected, handing Digg his mug of coffee. "Have you heard of a little word called privacy?" Thea asked with a pointed look at her phone before giving Park his own hot beverage.

"I'm reading the news, staying informed," Park answered, taking his drink without looking up his face becoming serious. "The guy whose been raping women in the Glades struck again."

"What?" Thea demanded sharply, her mind instantly going to Sin.

"He didn't stop at rape either. This bastard killed the poor woman. They didn't release her name but she was only twenty-seven. He strangled her."

"Guess they couldn't make the evidence stick," Digg commented with disgust. Both Thea and Park looked up at him. "Some of my side gigs have off-duty cops on the payroll. They talk. They had a guy in custody a month or two back they liked for these."

Thea looked down at the cold cup of coffee in her hands. "Did they mention his name?" Digg's dark eyes focused on her. "My best friend lives in the Glades," she told him, hoping her appeal for information would be seen as just being concerned. Which she was of course but she also wanted to put all her training to use and stop this monster.

Diggle hesitated before nodding. "Don't know his first name, but his last name is Casper. I did hear that he's a veterinarian of all things."

"Not the friendly ghost?" Park asked. He received two glares and winced. "Sorry, not a joking matter." The ex-marine stood. "Come on kid. We should get you to school so you can be whatever you want to be, make your dreams come true, and all that special snowflake nonsense." Thea snorted and grabbed her back pack. "Digg's going to join us since he's going to fill in for me once my leave starts."

The brunette, not-teenager nodded at him in acknowledgement. "Speaking of special snowflakes, how is Hye-jin?"

"Still angry that I got her pregnant during her residency," he told her with a dramatic sigh, but the wide smile on his face gave away how happy he was. "She's doing real good though. The baby is apparently the size of a cabbage."

Thea's nose wrinkled. "What is with them comparing the baby's size to food?" She kept up pleasant small talk all the way to school while she found out all about Dr. Arnold Casper on her phone. During her lunch hour she called the animal hospital he worked at and learned his hours for the week from a chatty receptionist named Jeanette.

The next day she faked sick and no one questioned her because the new Thea didn't blow off school. She rode her brother's bike into town and easily broke into the apartment through the window off the fire escape. His apartment was the kind of obsessive neat that made her skin crawl. After photographing everything with her phone she tore the place apart.

Behind a false panel in his closet she found what she was looking for. She spread the mementos out in front of her and sat down hard. There were bracelets, necklaces, rings, and her stomach twisted at the earrings that still had flesh attached. She counted them and when she came up with a number not even she can believe she did it again. Thirty-four pieces of jewelry sat in front of her. She looked down at her watch. It was half past two in the afternoon and she needed to start cleaning up but part of her didn't want to.

She wanted him to come home to his home torn apart with the evidence of his crimes strewn across the floor. She wanted him to panic, wanted to watch him tear his hair out as he tried to understand what happened, wonder who was in his home and knew his secret. Then she wanted to watch him squirm as he waited for the cops to bust in his door.

Finally, when he realized no one was going to show up and he just started to think he was safe she would slip into his apartment silently. She would let him at least see her form, hear her voice before she began. She would make sure he knew she was a woman. Then she would hurt him in every way she could think of and was feasible with what she had to work with.

She let the fantasy play out in her head and felt the gnawing hunger that wasn't her own seep into her mind. Grabbing onto whatever logic and reason she had left she cleaned up his apartment. She waited on a nearby roof that had a view with a pair of field glasses till he returned that night and watched to make sure he didn't suspect anything.

The following day she called in sick again and shadowed Casper for the whole day. Though she couldn't exactly continue to trail him for the rest of the week, whenever she wasn't in school or sleeping she was in his vicinity. Sin was cold after she brushed her off for the nth time. Tommy showed up one day after school to ask why she was avoiding him. Her mother tried to corner her but failed. She blew Roy off and canceled on Felicity. Worst was Park's suspicious and worried gaze when she would make a rare appearance.

She was torn between her need to keep up her life as a teenager and her thirst for justice. Justice. It would be not in the name of justice that she would make him bleed. It would be in the name of the fear, and the pain, and the ruined lives of thirty-four women.

Thea was in her eleventh day of surveillance when she finally noticed the blonde woman who looked so much like Felicity for a heart stopping moment Thea thought it was Felicity. And then she remembered her from several other places Casper had been. He was stalking her. She was his next victim. The urge to end this was strong. It would be so terribly easy. There would be no witnesses. She would find a time when he was alone. She would cover his mouth with something so he couldn't cry out and look him right in the eye so he knew she was going to kill him. If she did it at his home she would have time, time to make him wish she would just get it over with.

A honking horn drew Thea from her dark musings and she sunk her teeth into her lip sharply to distract herself. Her hand reached into her pocket and this time what she was looking for was there. A string of smooth beads met her searching fingers and she rubbed her thumb over their surface, counting the bumps till she felt like she had regained some control.

On the thirteenth day she knew he was going to make his move on the blonde woman. She sat on a different rooftop from before as she watched him ready himself. She already had on black jacket that made her look bulkier than she was. She pulled up the hood as he stepped out onto the street. After making her way swiftly to his window and filling her small pack with what she needed the once again vigilante caught up to the target and followed him through the darkness of night. Her mind was empty of everything but keeping him in sight.

When he entered the blonde's apartment building she was gracefully landing on the woman's balcony. She stayed low and kept to the shadows. The simple black domino mask she picked up from a halloween store was put into place from where it hung around her neck. It killed her to wait and let this woman experience terror, but cold logic overruled her compassion. She needed the woman to be attacked as terrible as that was. She needed her to be a victim. But she would not let it go on for long.

She heard him knock on the door and charm his way into the apartment. The sound of a struggle and the woman's muffled scream was enough to make her blood freeze and her mind seethe. The glass of the balcony door exploded under the force of one booted foot. A throwing knife destroyed the only light in the room and drenched the room in darkness. She caught a glimpse of Casper's startled face as he let the woman go in surprise before she was on him. The woman who was not Felicity but looked enough like her to make Thea see red scrambled for the door while. Her foot snapped out to shatter a kneecap and some corner of her mind acknowledged she was on the clock. But the violent ideas that were forming at a rapid pace in her head wouldn't take long.

Casper was already on the floor sobbing, struggling to get away from her. That was not going to happen. Several pops and the monster's tortured scream marked the breaking of a number of his fingers and hand bones. The heel of her boot dug in and twisted a bit more. His hand would never be the same.

The demon in her blood sang with pleasure and euphoria made her mind cloudy. She wasn't done, not by a long shot. The beast in her had only gotten a taste and it was a glutton. It was time to feed. She left him where he was, crumpled, whimpering and begging as she walked the short distance to the kitchen and found a knife that would be perfectly serviceable.

"Please, please. You don't, you don't have to this!"

He was right. She didn't have to. But she wanted to. The knife found a new home in his good knee. She drove it down so far it stuck into the wood below. His cries mingled with the distant wail of sirens. Thea glanced up at the door as she caught the sound of footsteps in the hallway.

"Help, help! Please, he's gonna kill me!"

Thea moved swiftly to the door and slammed it shut in time to see a man peeking out of an apartment across the way. She spun the deadbolt and turned around to see Casper dragging his broken and bloody body to an upright sitting position, knife that used to be in his knee now in hand. She raised an eyebrow at the unexpected showing of endurance.

"They're coming, if you just go I won't tell them about you I swear!" The brunette who was a bit of a monster herself wanted to point out that if she killed him he definitely couldn't talk.

The sirens were louder and she knew she didn't have much longer. Sanity clawed at the writhing mass of bloodlust that obscured her morals and better judgement. Thea avoided his clumsy attempts to cut her and took the knife from his hand after twisting his wrist till it broke. Grabbing a handful of his hair she bounced his head off the corner of the side table.

Though the air was free of his noise his unconscious state did not bring the moment of absolute peace she knew she would experience if she took his life. But she'd spent too long resisting that short bliss to give in now. She unbuckled the pack that felt much heavier than it was and set it gently beside Casper.

Thea heard the first responders explode onto the floor and calmly exited the apartment through the same way she entered and climbed to the roof. She traversed the rooftops at a rapid pace till her breath came harsh and she could no longer remain standing on her shaking legs.

She sat against the ledge of a building and took in a another shuttering breath. The burning haze of anger that came from her unquenched thirst was beginning to clear and her teeth found her bottom lip with enough force to sting as she tore at her bloody gloves. Her bare fingers found the string of beads.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight.

One.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight.

Two.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight.

And on it continued until the she could actually feel the cool night air on her face. Her head tipped back and the hood fell down. There were no stars or moon out, nothing lit the sky but the lights of Starling City. Inwardly Thea acknowledged that she couldn't repeat this. Not at least until she was out of high school. She couldn't keep up the appearance she needed to and hunt criminals.

She also couldn't let it go this far again. Hurting Casper, torturing him crossed a line that Thea thought she knew not to. The fantasies were something she knew she couldn't stop. They were a part of the bloodlust that she accepted as being out of her control. Acting on those fantasies was another matter. That woman looked like Felicity and it became personal.

She sat on the roof for another hour before coming slowly to her feet. Her body felt stiff and her stomach rolled when she noticed the dark stains of blood on her gloves. Hazel eyes closed and Thea shut out the lingering anger, newly forming guilt and the voice of her disappointed brother.

She put one foot in front of the other and started home.

* * *

A/N: So that was my take on Thea's bloodlust. It's different from the shows. I know I said I wouldn't be updating again so soon, but this chapter was done and I couldn't resist just getting it up so I could stop editing it over and over.

Thanks again reviewers and I hope to hear what you think of this chapter.

A big thank you to highlander348 for being my sounding board for ideas and reminding me that vigilantes should wear masks.


	8. Chapter 8: Ice

To Embrace

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Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.

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Chapter 8: Ice

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Felicity Smoak was in denial as she hid behind the fake fern (who did they think they were kidding with this thing), trying not to be seen by anybody but still acting as if she belonged. Which she did not. At all. She wondered at the unexpected turns in her life that brought her to this place of unbelonging.

Not that she was complaining about where her life was headed, because let's be clear, she was not complaining. At all. She was just wondering if this was the moment the universe decided her sudden good fortune was too much. Like it was saying 'Sorry dear, no one deserves this much good luck and you know it,' and then screwing her over.

Because so far that was how Felicity's life had gone. She had a rather ideal childhood until her father decided he wasn't about that life and up and left. But Felicity wasn't going to complain because being a computer genius who was raised by a single mother and having ovaries looked really great on a college application. She got as close as possible to a full ride as you could to MIT. She was doing well in school and then along came Cooper.

Her job at Queen Consolidated sounded great and it was to a point. After graduating she shed her past life and persona as best she could and it was what she needed at the time, new job, new city, new life. Bonus, she made decent if not good money. But it wasn't what she wanted anymore.

Then Thea Queen came crashing into, well not really crashing because Thea Queen was the epitome of grace, so she gracefully walked into Felicity's life and suddenly Felicity Meghan Smoak was being recommended for the new Applied Science's Division. It was currently in the final stages of being approved by the board of directors but all signs were pointing at it being a go.

If she got the position she would be working on acquiring cutting edge technology for the company. Though her passion was writing code she recognized she didn't want anything she created to be property of QC. When she created ground breaking software it was going to be her company that sold it and eventually she would rule the world! Or just become one of the greatest women in technology. That was cool too.

Usually Ms. Smoak would be against nepotism. She was brilliant and could make it on her own thank you very much. But if it got her out of her tiny cubicle next to cheeto finger Ben and his goddamn PSA post its she was going for it.

Thea Queen wasn't anything like she expected. Not that she was really expected much of anything given she never thought she would meet her. After being a wardrobe fairy Felicity never expected to see the Queen princess again despite her words about friendship.

But not even a week later Thea showed up just as Felicity began untangling a problem that was going to take her whole lunch hour and afternoon to complete. It was already a crap day. She woke up late and was banking on being able to run out and grab some form of sustenance which wasn't going to happen. In came Thea Queen her fairy godfriend (she was so not anything like her mother) again with salad and coffee in hand.

Felicity profusely apologized for not having time to properly eat and visit but Thea just smiled and asked for a rain check. The bottle blonde being an unbeliever thought that was the last time she would see the brunette. Three days later she was sitting across the table eating the most amazing curry she ever put in her mouth and arguing about whether Jason Mamoa was hotter as Khal Drogo or Ronon Dex. It wasn't really a good argument because Thea had never seen Stargate Atlantis but it was fun all the same.

Long story short, Thea Queen was great but this was a horrible horrible idea the brunette had talked her into. A bare chested man with arms thicker than her thighs walked by and Felicity decided enough was enough. Taking her phone out of her gym bag she started typing her go to excuse.

"Felicity!"

Flinching at the loud call of her name the blonde slowly turned, coming face to face with a sweaty Thea. Felicity wanted to curse because of course the younger woman looked fabulous despite it. Life really wasn't fair. "Are you ready for this?" Thea asked excitedly.

"Um, I don't think ready is the word I would use," she replied, twisting her ponytail. Thea's face fell and the tech genius felt like she just kicked a puppy. "I mean, I guess I'm just a little intimidated. You're totally right self-defense is important, especially after that terrible man was all over the news, but I just, the groupon said this was a beginner's class." Felicity pointed to the space where the class was going to be held and a fairly sizable group was already stretching and warming up. "Do those look like beginners to you!" They were mostly men, which she thought odd as she expected more women in a self-defense class. They were also pretty much all built, like really built.

Thea took in the view and raised an eyebrow. "Huh, I thought there would be more women."

"Right?!"

Shaking her head Thea tried to be encouraging. "Look we're here. It can't hurt to stay. Plus, Krav Maga is supposed to be a really amazing workout!"

"Which it appears you've already had today. Thea look at me," Felicity demanded. "I am a zumba girl who can't actually dance. My favorite yoga position is child's pose. The only form of exercise I really excel at is cycling. I don't think this is for me."

Thea grabbed both her hands and held them up looking her dead in the eye. "We are doing this. It's going to be a new experience and if we don't like it we can always try something else or go somewhere else." The brunette finished her short pep talk by clapping Felicity's shoulder and walking into the class. Felicity wasn't proud of it but she definitely let out a small whimper. Swallowing her fear she put on her big girl panties and followed Thea into the class.

They stored their stuff in the corner where everyone else's crap was piled and blue eyes widened as Thea's jacket was stripped off to reveal only a sports bra underneath. She knew her friend took care of herself and was a bit of an exercise-aholic but damn. Thea Queen was ripped. The other girl took a loose fitting tee from her gym bag and threw it on before turning around. Felicity's determination faltered.

"Hey, stay with me Fe, we can totally do Thai after this as a reward." The unexpected nickname warmed her. It wasn't like she didn't have friends here in Starling. She'd been living here three years though and she couldn't name one person she would ask to pet sit for her if she went on vacation. Not that she had a pet, or ever went on vacation. The point was Felicity Smoak had maybe three people she called friends in the city and none of them ever called her by a nickname.

"All right people come over here to the mats and take a seat. We'll be getting started shortly," a man who appeared to be the lead instructor called.

The pair sat down next to a pair of guys who looked pretty uncomfortable also. One of them leaned over. "You guys new?"

"Yes," Thea answered with a smile as Felicity nodded emphatically.

The guy who hadn't spoken shifted more towards the conversation as his partner continued to talk. "This is only our second time, and we've never had this instructor. They usually make you change up partners halfway through."

Felicity's hand latched onto Thea's arm in a tight grip. "Nope, she's mine."

Both men chuckled. "Well I'm Martin and this is Jesus, he's mine. But maybe we can share for an hour."

Flustered at how she just implied she was dating an underage billionaire Felicity was momentarily speechless so Thea introduced them. "Nice to meet you, I'm Thea and this is Felicity. She's more than a little nervous."

Martin nodded. "I was pretty unsure of all of it myself and some people have really strong reactions their first time."

Thea and Martin made small talk as Felicity focused on not chickening out. She was happy to see two more women slip in right as they began the introduction speech. One of the women looked over in their direction and froze. The blonde couldn't keep her lips from turning down in confusion. She didn't recognize with woman. Understanding filled her when her blue eyes turned to Thea and she saw the younger woman's mouth tighten minutely.

"Find a place, ladies," the instructor called. "So now that you all have an idea of what this class is going to cover let's get warmed up. Remember if you need a break, take it but our goal is to push ourselves. We're starting with jumping jacks."

Comforted by the exercise that she'd been doing since her elementary school days Felicity let herself think everything would be fine.

Everything was so not fine. Her legs shook from a mixture of anxiety and exhaustion and her cheek throbbed. It started out okay, but after the warm up and practice of basic strikes the instructor ran them through a series of real-life scenarios where they used those newly learned techniques. It was amazing how an instructor yelling out a generic description of an attack while Thea or Martin pulled gently on her pony tail from behind caused a very real adrenaline response.

Things took a turn for the worse when they did a drill where they pushed up from the floor and would turn and run as fast as possible to their partner on the other side of the room. She managed it pretty well the first time. The second time…she landed flat on her face after tripping on absolutely nothing. It was horrible and humiliating and she only recovered a bit of her dignity thanks to Thea's urging to get up and finish.

Felicity was currently collapsed against a wall watching Thea help clean up the mats. "Hey, I hope we see you two again," Martin called with a wave. She managed to give him a small wave in return before her attention was pulled to the woman who recognized Thea at the beginning of class. The slender woman walked up to her friend, but Felicity couldn't quite make out what she said.

"Hi! I'm Jo. Mind if I sit?" It was the mystery woman's companion and she gestured to the wall space beside Felicity.

The blonde wants to say no because her misery does not need company but that would be rude. "Oh, of course. I'm Felicity."

The other woman slid down to her butt with a sigh of relief. "That was intense!" The tech genius bit back a snarky reply and realized she needed to eat because hunger was making her bitchy. "So, it looks like our friends know each other."

It was clear Jo was fishing for information and Felicity was just as curious. "Yeah, I noticed when you guys came in. Thea didn't say anything though."

"Thea? As in Thea Queen?"

Jo's tone made her pause before answering. It wasn't exactly negative but there was a touch of alarm there that went beyond surprise at learning there was a minor celebrity in the room. Choosing to ignore it Felicity confirmed the guess. "How does your friend know Thea?"

For a moment Jo didn't acknowledge the follow up question, watching the pair across the room with worry. "Laurel used to date Oliver Queen."

The name clicked in her head as her mind recalled the old news reports she read up on after her first run in with Thea. "Oh." Focusing on her friend's face she came to her feet, ready to come between the two women if she saw any signs of distress. Thea didn't talk about her loss and Felicity didn't ask. But once in a while when the brunette probably thought no one was watching Felicity would catch her with her smile gone and her eyes sad.

The two women parted and when Thea headed towards her gym bag Felicity was right behind her friend. "You, me, Thai food pronto. Look at my face! You owe me big Thea Queen."

The younger woman tried to smother her laughter. "That is definitely going to bruise. Let's do take out and get some ice on that cheek."

"Sounds perfect to me."

The two grabbed their gym bags and after hitting up Felicity's favorite hole in the wall Thai place arrived at the tech genius' apartment. It was a little awkward at first. Though Felicity had never been to Queen Manor she imagined it to be like a mini version of Hogwarts. Her apartment obviously couldn't compare. Her friend took a good look around the place and smiled. "I love how you it is."

Her cheeks heated from the compliment and she invited Thea to make herself at home while she got some ice for her face. Once she had a cold pack against her cheek she dug into her pad thai. After the two refueled enough to have a conversation Thea spoke. "So that woman, at the end of class was Laurel Lance."

"Yeah, her friend, Jo, told me. Um, Laurel dated your brother right?"

The teenager snorted. "I don't know if you could call what they did dating."

Felicity tried not to be curious but she couldn't help it. "What do you mean?"

Thea sighed and pushed her spicy glass noodle dish away. "My brother was a dog. I can't even believe she started dating him to begin with. They were friends before, she knew what he was and thought their relationship would be different somehow." The brunette shook her head. "Ya know good girl thinks she can tame the bad guy. Taking Sara on the Gambit was not the first time he cheated on her." Her blue eyes widened at the harsh words Thea had for her deceased sibling. "Ollie wasn't a great person. He was exactly what the media portrayed him to be but…" Thea's eyes slid shut and she inhaled sharply. "He was my brother and I loved him."

Felicity understood, her mother's face coming to mind. She set the ice down and reached out for Thea, coming off the kitchen stool to embrace the younger woman.

The brunette cleared her throat once they separated. "I actually had a favor to ask you. So, um how good are you with computers?"

"My dear, I'm the best that's ever been," Felicity proclaimed with a hair flip that would have been much more impressive if her hair wasn't in a ponytail. Thea laughed and it was a good sound after the suddenly serious turn their evening took. "So what can I do for you? Post a bad picture on Facebook you need deleted? Oh or do you need some grades altered? I totally did that for extra cash back in high school."

"No, but I didn't know you were so devious."

Felicity shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a bit of a badass."

Thea chuckled. "Yeah I can see that. Actually I want to move around some of my trust fund money, quietly."

Eyebrows, that were her natural hair color rose. "Oh, well yeah I can do that. How much access do you have to it? I mean being under eighteen are there any restrictions?"

The teenager nodded. "Yes, there are but the amount I want to move is within the limit."

"Then why do you want to do this on the down low?" She thought it was a fair question to ask because she could see this heading into some fuzzy white collar crime area.

"I want to make a few investments that I don't think my mom's broker would agree too." Thea pulled a sheet of paper with the account details from a folder in her bag out and handed it over to Felicity.

"Wow, that is a lot of zeros. Okay how much do you want to take out?" she asked before taking a drink from her water glass.

"About a quarter of it."

Felicity choked as her mind did the calculation almost instantly. She coughed and swallowed more water to clear her throat. "Are you sure? That's a lot of money."

"I'm sure. I know what I'm doing."

She was still unsure, envisioning Moira Queen having her assassinated for letting her daughter lose a huge hunk of her trust fund.

"Fe, I'm not doing anything illegal I just want to use my money the way I want to."

Sighing, Felicity relented. "Fine, I'll do it but if your mom kills me or hires someone to kill me because that is what rich people do, I will haunt you till the end of your days." She was already getting her computer and distracted by the new task so she didn't notice how Thea flinched at the joke.

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A/N: I really enjoy doing Felicity's POV. So this chapter practically wrote itself I felt like.

Ok I got a pretty negative reaction that said I pretty much ruined my story with the last chapter and I want to address it and some things that reviewers have pointed out in the past.

So I mentioned in a previous chapter that Thea's past keeps with the show through the third season. I said I would be using bits and pieces of the fourth season but as I haven't been keeping up with it I couldn't work it in accurately. This Thea is from five years in the future from the beginning of the show. So that leaves year four and five a mystery to the reader as well as why and how she has come back to the past. If I don't change my chapter line up this will be addressed in chapter 17.

As far as Thea's bloodlust goes it is not the same as in the show. I wasn't trying to make it the same. I recently watched some clips and saw that Thea was now having other issues besides the bloodlust and I just want to say this will not be a part of my story.

I am being a bit defensive and I realize that. I love comments. I welcome critique. Writing is a hobby for me but I do want to better myself. I guess I really just wasn't thrilled at being told that I ruined my story because of choices that I haven't been able to fully explain because the story isn't there yet.

Sorry for the long author's note. Thank you to those of you who have commented I really appreciate it and I hope you continue to make me ridiculously excited to check my email.


	9. Chapter 9: Heat

To Embrace

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Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.

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Chapter 9: Heat

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The comforting sound of bamboo hitting bamboo rang throughout the gym. Thea had started Roy on Eskrima before their hiatus. He obviously had been practicing through out that time because as she called out the techniques his transitions were nearly flawless. It really was unfair how quickly he picked it up.

She accelerated the pace of her strikes. It pleased her to see that though he could keep up with her it was a struggle. They kept it up for a minute or so more before Thea stepped back and let her arms fall. "Nice work."

"Thanks." They both moved to the benches that were to the left of the area they utilized for practice. He tossed her a towel which she caught with one hand while reaching in her gym bag for water. "So, you ever gonna tell me where you learned this stuff?"

She gave him a sideways look as she took a long pull from her water bottle. "Now why would I do that Harper? Did we become friends without me noticing?"

He snorted and took his own drink of water before answering. "You don't teach someone how to break a person's neck without becoming something more than acquaintances."

"Touché," she acknowledged with a head tilt and a grin. "Now let's see how you are doing with knives." The pair returned to the mats and started up a rhythm. Thea had to admit that she and Roy were friends. Their relationship was easy and though they rarely met outside of the gym there was a camaraderie between them that reminded her of what they had been.

It was nice but the spark for more was there and getting increasingly more difficult to ignore. She could feel his eyes on her back when she walked away. The amount of focus required when they practiced kept his attention on what they were doing, but there were times when he was obviously distracted. He was certainly not alone in that.

Roy's body was a sight to see before they had begun training and now… Her movement faltered for a second and his eyes flashed up to her face. Her cheeks flushed with heat as her imagination took off. Swallowing, she pushed memories and fantasies to the back of her head and regained her momentum. Thea instituted a shirt policy for this very reason but it backfired because her mind already knew what was underneath and the cotton covering it became nothing more than a tease.

Hazel eyes caught Roy's lips twitching upwards. She could tell he knew where her mind was. Pushing her speed up, she anticipated an opening and her hand snapped up to not so gently smack the side of his head. The hit was so surprising it made Roy stumble backwards. "What the hell was that?!" he hissed.

"Ya gotta to be ready for anything Roy," she teased as she circled him before settling into a fighting stance.

"Is that so Mia?" Roy's blue eyes ran the length her body and she resisted the urge to shiver as her heart beat picked up. His use of her false name didn't throw her for a second. Mia Dearden was her go to alias. It was what she went by when she was in Corto Maltese and whenever she was outside Starling and didn't need the Queen name. There was a freedom to life without her family name.

Her time in Corto Maltese gave her more than just training with Malcolm. It also gave her a better understanding of Oliver. Even after he revealed himself to be the Green Arrow he didn't talk much about his years away from home. She finally worked up the nerve to ask him the one question that had been on her mind for a while. She asked her brother if he ever thought about not returning to Starling after the island, if he thought about going somewhere, anywhere else in the world and starting over, new name, new life. She wasn't surprised by his answer.

Thea knew nothing good could come from her deception but she also knew Roy. He would never have asked for her help if he knew that she was the spoiled heiress Thea Queen. His situation in the Glades with Kel's boss was even more serious than he let on and she couldn't let his pride get in the way. Though their practice had helped and the few times he had been cornered he fought his way out, Thea worried he would never be safe until the entire gang was brought down.

Roy readied himself for the spar and there was a pause as they both ran through each other's fighting styles and tried to anticipate opening moves. They collided in a rush that was calculated. With every block, grab, and landed blow her body warmed but it wasn't from the taint of bloodlust. Thea held back, keeping on the defensive till she found an opening just as she had done during the knife drill.

When she moved it was with a strength and skill she usually reserved for going toe to toe with someone fully trained. Roy ended up on his back with her training knife at his throat and Thea on top of him. By the look on his face she could tell he was a little stunned. "How?" he choked out of breath from the exercise and the fact her weight was centered on his diaphragm and making it a little hard to breathe.

Her own breath was harsh but she managed a wide grin that showed teeth. "I got all kinds of tricks you don't know about," she gloated moving down to his stomach and taking some of her weight off of him by moving her legs to straddle his torso. The feel of him between her thighs made the arousal she had been feeling for longer than she'd like to admit ignite.

In response to her movement over him she saw his pupils swallow a majority of the blue that surrounded them. Any thoughts of stopping what was about to happen were chased out of her mind when Roy's hands reached forward to grip her thighs, burning her skin through the linen fabric of her pants.

Mimicking their fight the two froze, but neither wanted to move first and it became a battle of wills. Roy faltered first. "Fuck it!" he snapped before he came up off the ground and captured her lips, none too gently with his own. His hands shifted from her legs to her ass as he used his strength to lift her completely off him.

Thea let him support her weight and rearrange them as he liked. She was much too preoccupied by kissing the mouth she missed over the years. Her hands smoothed over the skin of his neck and up to his hair. She scratched at his scalp just how he liked it and ran a thumb lightly, teasingly behind his ear.

"Shit," he moaned into her mouth. Roy hauled her up higher as he came forward to his knees. They both reacted when his hands dropped her down and she used her legs to pull herself flush to his body.

The need to feel more skin, to feel the calluses on his palms rough against her, to have nothing between them momentarily chased away the thought that she missed the way his teeth felt against her jaw.

Thea leaned back trusting that he would counter her weight and tugged the tee shirt over her head. His hands were instantly on her body and their warmth made her shiver. She resumed her attention's to his mouth as he began to explore her body.

She groaned in frustration as he skimmed over the patch of skin on her lower back that had the potential to drive her wild. She dug her nails into his shoulders and nipped sharply at his lips in retaliation of the teasing.

"Damn Mia," he bit out as his hips rolled at her actions. The exclamation and name trigged a cold realization that had her pushing against his shoulders to put space between them. "Mia?" he questioned, confusion clear in his voice. Thea unwrapped her legs from around him and slid down to the mat below. Sensing her sudden change of heart Roy let her go and didn't give chase.

She was so preoccupied with feeling him again she didn't notice that his kiss wasn't the same. His hands were exploring her body because they didn't know it. The familiarity of his touch was an illusion her mind created. She knew every spot on his body that would make him moan. She knew how to drive him crazy with the lightest touch. She knew him.

But he didn't know her.

It went beyond him not knowing her real name. Nothing could make up for the fact that she already knew who he was, where he'd come from, his hopes for the future, an entire history they no longer shared. Their easy friendship and mutual sexual attraction made her forget this.

"Hey, you ok?"

His question spurred her to move up from the floor. "Yeah," she answered, still trying to figure out how she was going to explain her sudden backpedaling.

Roy looked apprehensive as he rose to his feet. He spoke first, "Look I really don't want to screw this up so if you want to hit rewind, I'm cool with that." The hope in his face made the guilt she was feeling already cut deeper. "I mean we can just take it slow."

Thea's hands fisted. She made this mess she had to clean it up. "Roy, this," she gestured between them. "There is something there." It would be another lie to say there wasn't and she didn't need another piling on the mountain she had to tell. "But I don't want to go there. This was a mistake and I'm sorry I let it happen." Not being able to look at him as he processed what she said she picked up her shirt from the floor and put it back on.

"Why not?" he asked sharply following back to their bags.

"I don't owe you an explanation," she ground out through her teeth. Her cheeks which hadn't lost their color began to glow with a heat that had nothing to do with arousal or exertion.

He blocked her path to the door of the gym and glared down at her. "Yeah, ya do. I'm not some guy in a bar, bugging you for your number. I'm a friend and what's between us is obviously mutual."

"Yes, we're friends Roy which is why when I say back off you should respect it." Her words seemed to hit home as she saw him deflate. "I'm sorry," she repeated. "I'll be here on Friday like usual." She walked past him relieved that the confrontation was over.

"So you're not gonna go MIA again?"

The question made her freeze. Part of her wanted to keep walking but she knew that wouldn't fix anything. Thea turned back to him.

"Am I allowed to ask about that, as a friend and all?" Sarcasm touched his words but he had a right to be irritated about this.

Thea shrugged her shoulders. "I had stuff to do," she knew her vague answer wouldn't fly but she didn't expect his reply.

"Like putting a rapist in the hospital."

It took every ounce of control she had to only let her shock show for a second. "What?" The question was infused with confusion because she was confused. There was absolutely no way that he should've been able to connect her to the attack on Casper.

He stepped into her space and Thea could see his face was tight with anger. "I may have dropped out of high school, Mia, but I'm not an idiot." She shook her head and opened her mouth to deny it again but Roy continued talking. "I ran into your friend Sin a couple days after the third time you canceled on me."

Thea stiffened at Sin's name. Her friend was still acting chilly towards her. More important to the current moment was that if he talked to Sin there was no way he didn't know who she was. So why hadn't he said anything about it?

"I was surprised to hear that you weren't just taking a break from training me. You were taking a break from life in general according to your friend. Though she thought you were fooling around with me the entire time." So that was why Sin was so upset. He still wasn't blowing up at her for giving him a fake name. "And then a few days after the serial rapist that has been terrorizing the Glades for months, that most of Starling City doesn't give a damn about is caught by a hooded vigilante, you call me."

"It's a coincidence," she tried to begin.

"Bullshit!" he retorted. "I know a nurse who works at St. Joseph's. She was only to happy to talk about what all happened to that bastard. She said whoever did knew exactly how to cripple someone. Just like you know exactly how."

Roy was certain he was right. She knew him. She knew that nothing she could say at this point would change his stubborn mind. He would never believe a lie no matter how well spun. So she didn't lie. "So it was me. Now what?"

Her admission turned the tables and now it was his turn to be surprised. "You did it? You tracked him down and just attacked him?"

The muscles in Thea's jaw ached from the tension it was holding as she fought over what to say in her head. "I hunted him. I found out he was suspect from a friend. I broke into his place. Found his stock pile of sick trophies. And then I watched him and I waited. I knew what he was going to do when he left his apartment that night. But I needed to catch him in the act. I needed for that girl to see his face. When I was done, I left a bag with a few of pieces of his collection with him for the police to find." There was no remorse in her and every sentence dripped with the venom she still felt for the man she'd made sure would never be able to stand upright again.

She was expecting revulsion, disgust, for him to say they were done and walk away. She didn't expect understanding. She didn't expect the rage she felt to be mirrored on his own face. But she should have. After all, she knew him.

"Next time you want to go beat up a scum bag, invite me," he demanded.

Thea's head tilted to the side as she took in his body that was nearly vibrating from the need to move. This was the Roy Harper that couldn't leave the Green Arrow alone. It wasn't just about hitting someone in the face for him either. He cared deeply about people. In a way he was far more of a hero than she or Oliver because even when he was just a kid with a few fancy acrobatic tricks and a mean right hook he stepped up when no one else would. It frustrated her to death when they dated. Now it just made her love him more.

"Ya know, I might just take you up on that."

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A/N: This chapter was not easy to write. I have a really hard time writing Roy. Or maybe I have a hard time writing romance scenes. Writing Thea Sin and Roy altogether comes really easily though. I dunno.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed and sent me supportive words. I really appreciated them.

whitetiger1249: Thanks for the review! I will be going into Thea's past when she confides in someone but unfortunately it won't be for a while chapter wise.

kindleflame5: Thank you for reviewing again! As far as Thea not doing quite enough I understand. But one thing she is always conscious of that I will be going into in other chapters is losing her future knowledge advantage if she changes too much. Laurel is an interesting character. I think she is very justified in her anger at Oliver. Now whether this anger becomes hate is another matter. I believe anger and hate are two very different things that are too often made out to be the same.


	10. Chapter 10: Bittersweet

To Embrace

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Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.

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Chapter 10: Bittersweet

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Thea's arm burned and she wanted to give into the feeling but her fingers weren't numb yet and this was long overdue. Despite helping with archery practice on a regular basis she didn't actually have the chance to shoot often. It was something she didn't realize she missed until she was a few arrows in.

The dull thunk of another arrow hitting exactly the place she wanted it to echoed through the empty space. It was March and the range was only heated by the lights overhead but the weather hadn't kept up with the school's schedule. Her breath wasn't visible but the air felt like a cool blanket on her warm body and overheated mind.

Diggle had officially taken over for Park a week before. The two chatted and she enjoyed the ex-soldier's calming presence but she missed her mornings of sassy dialogue and pop culture commentary that flowed in a babbling stream from Park. His wife was due soon and they kept in touch through texts. Thea already had a large (gigantic really) box full of gifts she intended to give the couple when they were too overwhelmed by their new bundle of joy to not accept.

Her hand reached down to pull another arrow from the stand next to her but her fingers grasped empty air. She looked down and sighed at the visual confirmation of what she already knew. Ms. Michaels had pretty much given her free reign of the range and welcomed her to stay as long as she wanted but it was going on seven o'clock.

The footsteps she heard coming down the hall made up her mind to call it quits for the night. She walked down the lane to her target that she had steadily obliterated the center of. Not that it was hard. She did it mostly as an exercise, using the school's heaviest bow.

"Do you ever miss Queen?" a voice behind her called out. Thea turned to see Sin standing there in kakis and her school blazer. Sin didn't do skirts.

It had only been a little over a week since she fell back into her old routine. Roy's revelation came as a surprise but opened up an opportunity that Thea had not considered before. Tommy was happy to return to their previous schedule but once in a while she would catch concerned looks. Sin, however had kept her distance and Thea didn't blame her.

"Only when I try, so not really no." Thea answered with a smirk thrown over her shoulder. Being flippant and light was always the best way to begin a serious discussion with her mercurial friend. She dropped the arrows she'd collected back into their storage area and turned back to Sin.

An uncomfortable quiet settled as the two were preoccupied with thinking of what to say. The silence was broken by a noise of frustration from Sin as she tugged at her short hair. "I'm sorry, I mean I'm not, no, shit!" She groaned and covered her face for a moment. "I'm still pissed as hell at you. You froze me out and that hurt." The admission was brutally honest for Sin and it crushed the breath from Thea's lungs but she had no time to let the sudden stab to her gut process because Sin had not stopped talking. "I thought you were blowing me off for Abercrombie but then we ran into each other and he hadn't seen you either. BeeTeeDubs we are so coming back to the whole you giving him a fake name thing."

Thea opened her mouth to interrupt. That was something that she had been wondering ever since Roy mentioned meeting Sin. Her friend must have gone along with the fake name and she couldn't figure out why.

"Nope!" Sin held up a hand to stop the questions already forming. "Still my turn. You checked out from everything and everyone for nearly three weeks and yeah I was pissed, am pissed but, I, uh, I get it." She crossed her arms around her body and swore, "Fuck it's too damn cold in here. Anyway, I forgot, ya know, that you've been through some shit. Sometimes we need a break, just, a heads up next time would be great."

Thea's lips curled up and her chest warmed at the obvious pass Sin was giving her. Their friendship formed so quickly and given their one-sided history Thea had taken it for granted that they had really only been friends for a couple of months. But here Sin was offering her a get out of jail free card with no explanation necessary for her behavior. Her stomach tumbled with grateful relief and guilt.

"Let's head to the cafe, I could use some caffeine. I have a paper for my English Lit class to finish off tonight," Thea explained as she put away the equipment.

Sin looped their arms as they set off and the not teenager's mouth formed a grin without her consent. "So fake name, spill. You're lucky I'm pretty damn quick on the uptake or else your status as Starling City royalty would have been out of the closet."

Thea shrugged and explained Roy's pride. It wasn't completely a lie. "Thank you for going along with it," she ended, her words clumsy from gratitude that she wasn't used to expressing. There were several students studying in the cafe when they arrived. After grabbing their beverages they settled at a more secluded table.

Sin's face was crinkled in thought as she took a sip of her mocha. "I've been wanting to ask, Do you have your sketchbook from before with you?" The question made Thea freeze mid drink. She did in fact have it with her. It was almost always on her person. There were now quite a few drawings she did not care for anyone to see. Sin read her face in a way that made her want to squirm in discomfort. "You don't have to show me if you don't want to. There was just one drawing I wanted to look at. It's towards the beginning. Um, a woman's face and she looks like she's sleeping."

Thea's face remained blank through sheer force of will that was hard earned as she swallowed a mouthful of her plain coffee that felt a lot like broken glass going down. Sara. Sin was talking about her portrait of Sara, and she most definitely wasn't sleeping. Her arms and hands moved stiffly as if frostbitten as she grabbed the sketchbook from her bag and carefully flipped to the requested drawing. The brunette didn't look at it before she handed it over to her friend.

Sin's light blue eyes scanned the drawing and her finger hovered over a portion of it. "It's definitely her," the girl whispered to herself. "Who's this?"

It was an extremely simple question with a very complicated answer. Thea knew Sin and Sara were close in her past, but for Sin to recognize the assassin now? Not expected, not in the least. Sara was here. Sara was in Starling. Sara was alive.

An image of blood on blonde hair and a broken body wrapped in black leather burned through her mind like a brand. She didn't remember killing Sara, but she had seen the video and that was more than enough for her imagination to run with. Wounds that had long since scarred over ripped open anew. The guilt and betrayal swirled in her stomach and clawed up her throat. When she found out what she had done, what Malcolm, her father made her do, she vomited until there was nothing left.

"Thea?" Sin's voice called out through the fog and between the thud of arrows sinking into flesh.

"Sara," Thea managed to say, though her mouth was suddenly dryer than a desert and acid. "Her name was Sara."

She could see her friend was parsing the sentence properly because confusion set into her features quickly. "Was?"

There were so many reasons that she shouldn't answer that question but Thea didn't plan for this. She didn't have a plan at all. When Oliver died her heart died with him. All her strength, all her training, all her friends could not help her in the wake of the all consuming loss that swallowed her whole. And just like he couldn't accept her death she couldn't accept his.

Her tongue was too thick for her mouth as she forced it to form words. "Sara was on the Queen's Gambit with my brother and father."

"No, that can't be, I saw her!" Sin's voice was suddenly too loud and the few other students who were in the cafe were sending them looks of their displeasure, but Sin didn't care. "I swear I've seen this chick. That chin dimple is pretty distinctive."

The thought to deny, to tell her friend what she saw was impossible didn't even cross her mind. Instead she admitted the secret hope that she believed the entire time Oliver was gone. "I think my brother is alive."

Sin's blue eyes widened before they dropped away from Thea's face. If she were in any state of mind to observe her friend she would see the struggle for words clearly on the other girl's face. But she wasn't. In her mind Thea was truly seventeen again and hoping beyond all logical reason that Oliver would find his way back home. Where was he now? Was he on Lian Yu again? China? Russia? Somewhere else he never told her about? Her brother took his secrets to the grave in the end.

"Thea…" Sin said while gently reaching out for her friend's arm. The contact pulled hazel eyes to meet blue. The youngest Queen knew the look her friend was giving her. It was the same look Laurel wore permanently whenever Thea came up with another idea to bring Oliver back, pity mixed with intense concern. Sin set aside the sketchbook. "I'm mistaken, I have to be. I didn't mean to…" she trailed off.

Thea swallowed the bitter bile in the back of her throat and managed to shake her head. "Don't worry about it." She stuffed the book into her bag quickly and shut a mental door on all things Sara. The sudden urge to get pissed sideways drunk hit her hard and she nearly shook with the need to stop feeling everything. "Screw the lit paper, you wanna go out tonight?"

The look on Sin's face said she wouldn't be forgetting anything anytime soon. "Sure, what the hell. I could use a night out. Let me just give Sue a call." The mention of her friend's new foster mom boosted Thea's mood. Moira had pulled through and was able to set Sin up with a better situation. Her mother even managed to do it without the proud girl learning of the interference.

"Will she mind that you're going to be out late?"

The darker haired teen shrugged. "As long as I check in and I'm back before midnight it hasn't been a problem. Sue's cool. She gets I've been taking care of myself and trusts me enough not to do something stupid." Sin stood after her explanation and left Thea to make the call outside.

Her own phone buzzed on the table a second later and Thea answered without thinking.

"Hello."

"Is this Thea Queen?"

Thea blinked, not recognizing the voice on the other end of the line. She pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at the number displayed. She didn't recognize that either, but saw the call was from Central City. Her memory pinged and she forced herself to breathe gently.

"Hello?"

"Yes, this is she. Who is this?"

"My name is Sandra Hawke, you contacted me by letter."

The confirmation of her suspicion still sent a stutter through her mind. Sandra Hawke, the mother of Connor Hawke, Oliver's son whom he never got the chance to meet. They attended Oliver's funeral and though the boy took more after his mother in coloring Thea knew at first sight from the shape of his nose and brow he was Oliver's. She did not handle it well. She needed to handle it well now.

"Thank you for calling," Thea responded, the gratitude in her voice genuine and raw. She had mailed Sandra months ago and was not surprised from the lack of response. The not teenager knew space and time were necessary. She couldn't demand to be part of their lives as much as she wanted to.

It scared her at first just how much she wanted to be a part of Connor's life. It wasn't like she had much to offer him. But the few moments they interacted at Oliver's funeral impressed upon her that keeping herself and the Queen family in general away from the boy was not a favor.

To learn of his father only after his death left the ten year old angry and betrayed. He was Oliver's son, but in that moment he wore the same face that she did when the truth of her own parentage came out.

But now she needed to deal with Sandra, who she learned could rival Moira Queen in fierceness when it came to protecting her child.

"I need to know if your mother knows anything about this."

Thea could clearly here the edge of fear in Sandra's voice. "No. She doesn't know that I contacted you. She doesn't know that I know who you are or even to my knowledge that your son exists."

There was nothing but silence on the other end of the line.

"Look Sandra, everything I said in my letter was the truth. I saw you and your son when I was on a school trip in Central City. I recognized you from an old polaroid in my brother's things of you and him at a party. And your son, he looks so much like Oliver at that age and I just couldn't let it go." None of it was true. But she had gone to Central City in her sophomore year for a field trip and from her research there was every chance she could have seen the pair. It was a stretch but the story had gotten her a call from Sandra.

"You haven't told your mother any of this?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Thea took a breath and debated her next words. "I know what my mother is capable of Ms. Hawke. I know she would do anything to protect my brother, me and the Queen name. But I am not her. If your son's father is Oliver and nothing short of a DNA test will change my mind on that, my mother will never hear it from me."

"What do you want?" There was clear accusation in the other woman's tone.

Trying to keep the frustration out of her voice. "I want to know my nephew, but Ms. Hawke, if you want nothing to do with me I will understand. I won't bother you or your son. I won't tell anyone about you."

Sandra didn't speak and if Thea couldn't hear her breathing on the other end of the line she would have thought the older woman had hung up on her. "I need time to think. Don't contact me again."

Thea let her hand holding the phone up to her ear come back down to the table and stared at the screen that told her the call disconnected. Three minutes and twenty-six seconds. The entire exchange hadn't even been four minutes.

She wanted to mean it. If Sandra told her to back off she would do her damnedest to. Even if it meant not being a part of Connor's life. She would not impose herself on their family. She refused to be the bully that her mother was.

Sin approached the table grinning. "Let's blow this joint Queen." Her friend's enthusiasm diminished as she took in Thea's face. "Hey you ok?"

Thea managed a smile. "Yeah let me just touch up before we go."

Sin's clear eyes didn't look entirely convinced but she snorted. "You always gotta look perfect don't you princess?"

The older brunette shrugged and quirked her lips before heading off to the bathroom. Once in the empty room she pulled her makeup bag from her backpack. There wasn't really anything wrong with her make up but the ritual would be enough to calm her nerves.

She had zero expectation that Sandra would call back with any sort of news she wanted to hear or call back at all. There was a very good chance that no Queen would ever be welcome in their lives and there was nothing she could do to change that. Well, nothing that would let her sleep at night.

If it came to it Thea needed to let Connor go. She needed to let her nephew, Oliver's son go. But then he would grow up with a lie. Exactly like she did.

For a moment Sara's face flashed before her again, reminding Thea of the bomb that Sin had just dropped. Sara was in Starling or had been at least. It wasn't surprising that she checked up every once in a while on her family. What her connection to Sin was Thea wasn't sure but there was something there.

Her stomach twisted at the thought that her current proximity to Sin might bring her an unexpected opportunity to see the woman who she put arrows in.

Thea let go of her eyeliner pencil before she snapped it in half and forwent touching up the Bittersweet color on her lips. A night out no longer sounded as appealing as it once did but Sin was waiting on her and there was no way she could disappoint her friend.

Drawing on her training she buried her feelings and pushed through the door.

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A/N: I know, I know its been forever. What can I say? Life is kicking my butt right now, and what I am doing that is keeping me from writing as much as I used to is really important to me. But I don't want to abandon this story. I need this outlet but I just probably won't be able to get to it as often as I would like. This chapter was mostly set up for those to come in the future so apologies that this wasn't a very exciting update. I know I don't deserve it with my disappearing act but any comments would be greatly appreciated!


	11. Chapter 11: Batter

To Embrace

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Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.

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Chapter 11: Batter

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Thea licked the sweet batter from the spoon and a satisfied noise escaped her sugar coated lips.

"If you keep eating it there will be none left for the actual cake," Raisa warned and promptly grabbed the oversized spoon from the younger woman's grasp.

The brunette couldn't help voicing her disappointment as her treat was taken from her. "I couldn't help it Raisa, you know this is one of my favorites!"

The older woman chuckled. "I'm well aware Miss Thea. Its a wonder you and your brother ever got any cake at all on your birthdays the way you too would sneak in here while I was baking. Let me get it in the oven and we'll have tea. You can tell me all about this mysterious boy you have been seeing while we are waiting for it to bake."

Thea didn't try to hide her surprise at Raisa's knowledge of Roy. When she returned home that day and popped into the kitchen for a snack before she got started on her homework she recognized the ingredients laid out nearly instantly and the sudden realization of what day it was hit her hard in the chest.

It was Oliver's birthday. She had been so wrapped up between school, her night excursions with Roy and her upcoming interviews for her internship that she had completely forgotten her supposedly dead brother's birthday.

"I don't know what you mean." The oven closed and Raisa leveled a look that said she wasn't getting out of this. Thea sighed and took her favorite blend of tea down from its place while the older woman put the kettle on the stove. "It is not what you think."

It really wasn't, unless Raisa somehow knew about Thea and Roy's nightly activities which included interrupting some small burglaries and petty crimes. Roy was starting to complain about not taking on anything bigger but Thea convinced him that they needed to start small, see how they worked together. They had yet to make the news but the youngest Queen knew it was only a matter of time. "He's a friend."

"Just a friend?" The tone was highly skeptical and Raisa's lips quirked as if to say Thea wasn't going to fool anyone with that defense.

Thea sighed and wondered why she was even bothering trying to maintain there was nothing going on between her and Roy because the fiction that Raisa believed would provide her a very convenient explanation as to where she spent her nights in the future.

"So, what's his name?" Raisa asked as she poured the hot water into the tea maker Thea had finished preparing.

Her response was interrupted by her phone chime. Looking down at the lit up screen, a bright smile formed on her face. "Look!" Thea held up her phone to show the picture that just arrived. "Park has been sending me these non-stop!" The new baby So-Mi was absolutely adorable in Thea's opinion. Park was absolutely enamored with his new daughter and talked non-stop about her if Thea let him. He had only returned to work recently and though Thea missed Diggle's subtle and biting humor at times it was good to have her gossip hen back.

Raisa cooed at the photo as expected before returning the phone to Thea. "His name?" she repeated with a pointed look.

Thea furrowed her brow in frustration but huffed out, "His name is Roy and it really isn't a big deal. We're just friends."

The housekeeper nodded. "Well I'm sure Mr. Merlyn and I would very much like to meet this Roy. You should invite him to the manor sometime."

Hazel eyes narrowed. "You and Tommy have been chatting have you?"

"Just once or twice when he dips into the kitchen for a quick bite." Raisa deflected as she poured the tea into cups. Thea reached for the cream and sugar while contemplating this information. She highly doubted it was only once or twice.

Tommy had been not so subtly probing into the time that they didn't spend together, asking questions about her friends and school life that he hadn't cared about before. Thea suddenly remembered the day she learned about Casper and Tommy asked about her bruise. She reached out to touch Raisa's hand. "You know I would tell you if anything or anyone was bothering me right?"

It wasn't wholly true but Thea had taken to sharing with Raisa and listening to her advice. They had always gotten along but Thea had a new appreciation for the woman who ran Queen Manor and cared for her family. Raisa got far more details than Moira about what exactly was going on between Thea and her old friends. Not that she let their behavior bother her but her old group of friends had been giving her a harder time than usual. It was mostly immature teenage stuff like heckling her in the hallways, spreading a few nasty rumors and the like.

The housekeeper smiled and squeezed Thea's hand in return. "I know, but sometimes we don't always want to talk about the things that bother us the most."

"Roy is a good friend, but he's not someone who my mom would approve of." Thea sipped her tea, thinking that was the most diplomatic way to put it. Rather than her mother was an unapologetic elitist who would most certainly look down her nose at a high school dropout with juvie record. "I really like spending time with him. He isn't getting me into trouble. Don't worry about that." It was Thea getting him into trouble really. Not that he wasn't perfectly willing to go along with it.

Raisa nodded and seemed to be satisfied with the would be teenager's answer or knew it was all Thea was going to say on the matter so she changed the topic. "How are you today?"

Sometimes Thea forgot how refreshingly direct Raisa could be. It was clear what Rasia was asking and the younger woman blinked quickly as old and new grief melded. She swallowed down the urge to tear up. "To be honest I forgot it was Oliver's birthday today." She looked down at the fine china cup. "How terrible is that?" The younger woman shook her head. "Some sister I am."

The housekeeper tisked softly. "Now now, do not feel guilty for healing Thea."

Thea couldn't help the frown that formed at the word 'healing'. 'Healing' was what she was incapable of. Being unable to 'heal' was exactly what brought her to this point. She still wasn't sure if that was her largest flaw. It certainly wasn't a strength.

"I feel like I've lost him all over again," the admission was a brutally honest echo of how Thea felt when Oliver did return home and she barely recognized the person he had become. Raisa would take it to mean her inability to recollect Oliver's birthday. It was something that had been on Thea's mind for a while.

What would happen when Oliver returned home? She wasn't the little sister he was expecting. She was twisted and stained and broken. He would surely notice it. How she had fooled everyone into believing she was still a teenager albeit a more responsible one than she used to be still amazed her.

"You were living in the present, as you should. You will never forget Oliver," the older woman said with genuine empathy in her eyes. "None of us will." Her eyes crinkled. "I remember when Oliver turned 10. You were only a few months old." Her smile was luminescent as she dropped her gaze to her teacup, lost in the memory. "He doted on you and he was very concerned that you weren't old enough to try his birthday cake. He insisted a piece be cut for you."

Thea's eyes stung as she swallowed tightly. "No one's ever told me that story."

Moira who Thea knew had been standing out in the hallway entered the kitchen. "He was very excited when you were finally able to eat cake. He loved feeding you and watching your face for reactions to new food. Sometimes in a not so charitable way. He gave you a wedge of lemon more than once."

Raisa stiffened at her employer's arrival. "Mrs. Queen, may I get you anything?"

Moira's face was soft as she shook her head. "No, thank," she paused, her lips turning slightly up, "Actually I would very much like to join you and Thea."

If the housekeeper was surprised by the request she didn't show it but Thea did not keep quiet. "You're going to have cake?" Her incredulity was apparent.

"I know its hard for you to imagine at times dear, but I like to have fun too, indulge in something sweet here and there," Moira replied with more sass and humor than Thea remembered her mother being capable off.

The bark of laughter that escaped Thea was a pure reaction without calculation or control. "When I see you eat an actual whole piece of cake I won't have to imagine it."

Moira merely smiled before taking the spot next to her daughter. "So about your upcoming graduation," she began.

Thea groaned. "No, no party, no gathering, no formal dinner, no celebration of any form please."

"I don't understand why you don't even want to have your friends over."

Hazel eyes caught the subtle shift in Raisa's expression, communicating her discomfort. "Mom," Thea said gently not wanting to further fan the flames, "I'm sorry that I can't explain why I feel the way I do, but please, can you just respect my wishes. And lets not have a discussion about me today." She reached for the older woman's and and gently squeezed.

Moira sighed, clearly communicating her disappointment but squeezed back. "Of course."

Crisis avoided Raisa proceeded to serve Oliver's birthday cake. The trio dug in to their first bites.

"Raisa, this is devine!" Moira gushed.

Thea chuckled before taking her own bite. "We had this cake at my birthday dinner too mom, didn't you try it?" She asked knowing that the answer was no. Her mother's grey green eyes narrowed and the matriarch took an even bigger bite in retaliation. Thea snorted.

"Oliver," Moira's voice shook slightly as she said her son's name, "when he was little would always wake up on his birthday and race down to the kitchen. He loved watching you bake his birthday cake."

"More like, he wanted to lick the spoon like someone else I know," Raisa added with a warm smile directed at Thea.

All three women chuckled.

Slowly more stories of Oliver's childhood were shared. Thea felt her eyes water when her mother mentioned the story of Robert, her father scolding Oliver for taking her rollerblading. She rubbed the scar on her elbow and remembered how gentle he had been, how he had called her a brave girl for letting him clean and bandage the cut.

Thea cleared her throat. "I'm gonna take a walk." She smiled at Raisa. "Thank you for letting me bake with you." She squeezed her mother's hand before she stood.

"Are you alright dear?" Moira questioned, her gaze gentle and concerned.

Thea nodded, "I just need some air, sugar buzz, don't want to sit still." Both her mother and Raisa looked after her with a touch of worry as she walked toward the back of the house. Her feet traveled a familiar path as her mind wandered further back than she usually allowed it.

Her feet took her to the graves. The brunette couldn't remember the last time she had visited them, probably the day of her arrival. She sat down on the cold, damp spring ground and took in a shuttering breath.

"I'm sorry dad." And she was sorry. The not seventeen year old knew now that Robert Queen was no saint. But no parent lived up to the idol that existed in a child's mind.

Robert Queen made a choice when she was born. He made a choice to love her, to accept her, to raise her as his. In her confusion, grief, anger and pain Thea had turned away from the memory of that man. It was a mistake she wasn't going to make again. He might not have been a good man, but he had chosen to be her father. She would never dishonor that choice again.

Her hazel eyes turned to Oliver's headstone. She couldn't wait for the damn thing to be torn down again. The first time she had been upset. This place was one of solace for her. But now seeing Oliver's name etched in stone made her cold and the anxiety of what could happen, what did happen was paralyzing. She could not afford to be paralyzed.

In a few short months, one summer, Oliver would be home again. Her headstrong brother would be rushing down the path that _their_ father set him on. Thea wouldn't be letting him go down it alone.

Someone approached from the south and the faint smell of men's cologne drifted towards her before her other brother came into view.

When he reached her he plopped down beside her without ceremony and she leaned into his side as he put his arm around her. Out of all the new friendships she had formed after coming back her relationship with Tommy was probably the most important to her.

"How you holding up kiddo?" His voice was rough, clearly expressing his own grief. The throb of guilt Thea felt at not letting everyone know Oliver was alive and well was hot and sharp.

"Fine. It gets easier, you know? Some times at least."

"Yeah, I know." They sat together for a time and for once Thea wasn't thinking about what was to come the next day, the next month, the next year.

A shiver ran through Tommy and Thea couldn't help her soft huff of laughter. "Come on tough guy. There's a cup of coffee and a piece of cake waiting for you in the house probably."

"Cake before dinner Thea? You'll ruin your appetite that way," he mock scolded as he let Thea pull him to his feet. Thea slid her arm into the crook of Tommy's just like that first day they decided to put the past behind them. She glanced back for one last look at the graves. "They'd be proud of you."

Something tightened in her chest at the surety in her brother's voice. "You think?"

"How could they not be?" It was a rhetorical question but Thea could come up with plenty of reasons why they shouldn't be proud. "Hey don't go there Speedy it's in the past," Tommy chides gently, bumping softly against her.

She wondered for a moment what he meant before she realized he was referring to her former drug habit. It was a time in her life she hadn't given much thought to since coming back and Tommy never mentioned the time he confronted her about it. "I never thanked you for that day."

Her brother's soft laugh was a bit of a surprise. "Gratitude was nowhere near what you were feeling at the moment." He saw the face Thea made and he squeezed her shoulder. "But even though I doubt it was that one time that made you turn things I'm glad that you did. I'm proud of you too Thea." The warmth that filled her chest was unfamiliar but not unwelcome.

As they made their way back to the house Raisa's words from earlier, that she hadn't given much thought to before came back to her. _"You were living in the present."_

Was she though? Could she ever truly live in the present when the present was her past and she knew what the future held?

Feeling her brother's warmth at her side and looking up at Tommy's relaxed and content face Thea knew at the very least she was going to have to try.

* * *

A/N: This was a chapter that I really struggled with whether or not to include. It doesn't do much to move things forward, but sometimes when there is a lot to be done in other chapters I don't have time to sort out how complicated everything must be for Thea emotionally. And I don't think I did it much justice in this chapter but it always felt odd to me that Robert Queen was pretty much forgotten.


End file.
